Bonus Post: Oscar Documentary Edition

Hello AGAIN!

A cursory glance at the search results for this blog using the search term "Netflix" will reveal that I am obviously a major proponent and gigantic fangirl for the site, given its dramatic enhancement of the ease of watching almost anything I want at any time ever.

Add to the Netflix fangirl archives the following, right in time for the approaching Oscars and the perpetually disgusting weather most people on the planet are currently experiencing:

All 5 Oscar-Nominated Documentaries 

Are Streaming Online

Woo!  Go Netflix go!

(Also iTunes!)

{Heart}

2013 Movie Round-Up!!

Hi darlings!

It's that very special time of year when I get to review the highlights and lowlights of a year of movie viewership.

We all know how I feel about this occasion.

I am really excited to note that this is my fourth annual movie round-up, and that since its beginning this blog has with thrilling success performed its role in facilitating my adherence to my 52 movies per year commitment.  It has also thereby continued to play an instrumental and critical role in my clinging to anything resembling self-care as I begin this, the VERY LAST YEAR IN WHICH I WILL BE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL.

EVER.

That's a pretty amazing fact to contemplate.

As that percolates, I'll move us right along to the real business of today's post.

The PsychoCinematic Year in Movies

(2013 Edition)

1. Casablanca (5)

2. Total Recall (3)

3. The Boys of Baraka (4)

4. The Thirteenth Floor (3)

5. Django Unchained (5)

6. Mean Streets (2)

7. Sexy Beast (4.5)

8. Silver Linings Playbook (4.5)

9. Ali (4)

10. The Hunger Games (4.5)

11. The Wicker Man (1)

12. The Room (1)

13. The To Do List (4)

14. The Adventures of Robin Hood (5)

15. Oblivion (3)

16. Helvetica (2)

17. This is 40 (2)

18. Spice World (3)

19. This Is The End (4)

20. Star Trek Into Darkness (3.5)

21. A Fish Called Wanda (3.5)

22. Katy Perry: A Part of Me (4)

23. The Muppet Movie (4)

24. Kumaré (3)

25. Benny and Joon (2)

26. Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians (2)

27. Rudy (5)

28. Restrepo (5)

29. Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (5)

30. The Fourth Kind (3)

31. Hitler's Children (4)

32. Twenty Feet From Stardom (3)

33. Blue Jasmine (2)

34. Lovelace (4)

35. Elysium (2.5)

36. Prince Avalanche (3)

37. Frances Ha (5)

38. Jobs (2)

39. Girl Model (2.5)

40. The Conjuring (4)

41. We're the Millers (2)

42. Ain't Them Bodies Saints (4)

43. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (3.5)

44. The Invisible Man (4)

45. Lawless (4)

46. Gravity (5)

47. The Summit (3.5)

48. Meet the Fokkens (3)

49. Land of the Pharaohs (4)

50. Repulsion (4)

51. Captain Phillips (3.5)

52. The Return (5)

53. The Cabin in the Woods (3.5)

54. Lars and the Real Girl (3)

55. After Earth (2)

56. Mud (4)

57. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2)

58. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (5)

59. Kundun (5)

OH my GOD, look at all these movies!!

Although the final count may not be as impressive as last year's, I must nevertheless observe that I totally exceeded my goal.  Especially in the context of the ever-increasing demands of my graduate career, that is pretty spectacular.

Okay!  So, this year's worst movies were:

For I-know-it's-Scorsese-but-it's-still-pretty-meh:

Mean Streets (1973)

For being so hilariously, terribly terrible:

The Wicker Man (2006)

For being so bad it is honestly hard to believe anyone agreed to help make this movie happen:

The Room (2003)

For being OH MY GOD SO BORING (2013 edition!):

Helvetica (2007)

For totally not even understanding what kind of a movie it was even trying to be 
(depressicomedy, I guess?):

This is 40 (2012)

For totally, irritatingly irresponsible portrayal of the mentally ill and the care they need:

Benny and Joon (1993)

For failure to make a compelling documentary in spite of immensely compelling 
primary material (2013 edition!):

Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians (2011)

For Cate Blanchett and Louis C.K.* being basically the only good things 
about this awfully-written movie, or

Woody Allen** fuck you I love you so much and you can do so much better:

Blue Jasmine (2013)

For having the first paragraph of this review sum this movie up perfectly:

Jobs (2013)

For being so bleh it's hardly even worth mentioning that this movie exists, or

Olivia Wilde married that guy?!:

We're the Millers (2013)

For not living up to its awesome tag line or Will Smith, 
and for giving everyone a stupid and inconsistent accent that sounds like a speech impediment:

After Earth (2013)

For its not living up to the cast of "Sherlock" and being generally interminable:

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Hmm.  This is honestly kind of hard, especially since the list is particularly long this year.  I suppose I should choose the movie I would be most annoyed for people to see instead of something good?

In that case, my choice for least favorite film of 2013 is:

Yep.  It was long.  It was boring.  It basically totally blew it.  At least pretty much every other movie on that sad short list tried to do something interesting... They just fell on their faces while doing it.

Okay!  And now to the extra fun part: the BEST movies I saw this year!

Casablanca (1942)

Django Unchained (2012)

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Rudy (1993)

Restrepo (2010)

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012)

Frances Ha (2013)

Gravity (2013)

The Return (2003)
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

Kundun (1997)

...

Okay so per usual I'm struggling to come to a decision.  I actually started drafting this post a few days ago and stopped at this point, because my brain started to squish together (a) because it was late and I was le tired and (b) this decision is hard, which I suppose is a nice problem to have.

For example: I thought "Gravity" was exhilarating and beautiful to see in theaters, and I'm so glad to have finally seen the luscious, gorgeous classic "Cassablanca" (not least because I finally get a ton of references I didn't before).  

"Catching Fire" might seem like an odd entry on the list, but it was a pretty faithful adaptation of a really fun-to-read book that, in spite of a 2+ hour runtime, didn't bore me for a second (none of which can be said about that godawful hobbit movie referenced above... sigh).  We all know how much I hate a poor movie adaptation of a good book, so the latest "Hunger Games" entry earns extra points for that.

I'm pulled toward "The Return," for several reasons:
1. I'm an intractable xenophile and lover of subtitles, although I am somewhat under-exposed to Russian cinema.
2. I apparently love movies about sad, cold boys.
3. The film is stunningly shot, contemplatively paced, and wonderfully performed.

In spite of the intense competition, however, I'm going with a movie that makes me really excited for the cinema to come.  It is a fresh, funny, cozy, interesting, nuanced character study with a delicious réalité feel.  I left the theater feeling exhilarated and embraced, like I had seen something with a new perspective that makes me eagerly look forward to the intimate, thoughtful future movies it will influence and inspire.  Part of the reason I enjoyed the film so much is that it reminded me of the classic "Annie Hall" (1977), but from the titular character's perspective rather than the man who loved her.  (The gorgeous shots of New York City revealed via the film's wandering tour through the main character's various scattered, haphazardly-acquired living arrangements didn't hurt, either.)  Without being warped through the lens of the male gaze, this movie's heroine has an awkward, sweet, beautiful authenticity that feels at once self-possessed and vulnerable.  Best of all, she is altogether whole.

My favorite movie of 2013 was "Frances Ha."

If you haven't seen it, oh my goodness, GO.  You'll love it!

Looking forward to sharing the next year of movies with you!

{Heart}



* = Louis C.K. has a history of sexually exploiting women.  I no longer support his work.
** = Woody Allen has a history of sexually exploiting women and of being a hand-wringing apologist in support of men who sexually exploit women. I no longer support his work.

Resolution Success: Pending!

Welcome to 2014!!

One of my very dear friends and bridesmaids-to-be got me the following amazing book for Christmas:

In light of my recently-renewed resolution for the new year, this is clearly enabling of the highest order and in the best possible way.

I hope your new year is off to a similarly auspicious start, dearest readers!

{Heart}

Closing 2013: Resolutions Edition

Why good evening,

I'm back from a week at where-I-grew-up home and am most of the way through a very-needed holiday break.

A few days ago I had the immense pleasure of watching "Kundun" (1997) with my mom and stepdad.  The movie tells the story of the current Dalai Lama's childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, concluding with his departure-under-duress from Tibet to India.

There's a scene early in the movie in which the young Kundun is told by a teacher that it is his responsibility to love all living things, every day.  In the midst of a compelling, riveting, and inspiring story, this small moment burned very bright.  What a simultaneously simple and overwhelming task!  What an amazing imperative for all human beings!

I started to think about how I might keep myself in better, more consistent touch with that imperative for the rest of my life, starting with the new year.  Especially as I prepare to get married in 2014, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to greet that milestone.  That is partly because I know taking that step takes me closer to other even more exciting and life-altering milestones (translation: BABIES!!).  

With such beautiful things drawing ever closer, I want to consciously prepare myself to be the best possible person I can be so that I'm in the strongest position to meet their challenges and embrace their joys.  Anticipating these changes has been an opportunity to reflect on the kind of person I want to be and plan for how to more fully become her.

All of this thinking informs many of my resolutions for the coming year.  Before I get to that, though, it seemed like it would be informative to look back on how I did with last year's resolutions.

1. Increase meditative practice.

I was hoping not only to continue meditating, but to increase the length of my meditation sessions and deepen my practice with Buddhist readings and maybe going to community meetings.

Heh.

So: Happily, I have continued my habit of meditating almost every morning.  I have occasionally been able to sit for longer periods, but that is very relatively speaking.  I have done basically zero readings and I have not gone to any sangha meetings.  So I didn't do so hot on this one in 2013.

2. Take more pictures.

This is another mixed one.  I very happily had occasion this year to go on some spectacular trips and see many beautiful things, and during these times I was decent to pretty stellar in taking photographs.  However, I chose this resolution because I missed having photography as a more regular part of my life, instead of something I only indulged in under unusual, vacation-y circumstances.  For a relatively brief time at the beginning of 2013, I was pretty good at working on this resolution by launching my museum challenge in advance of learning of my internship match results.  However, after I matched, I let that habit fall very much by the wayside.

3. SERIOUSLY: Call people more.

In summary: Sigh.

4. Accept and embrace the remainder of the internship process.

It may have been in the eleventh hour, but I must say: I kind of rocked this one.  I continue to be very proud of wrestling my sense of well-being and peace back from the stupid internship process, although I still feel bad that I accidentally freaked my classmates out.

5. Watch SO MANY MOVIES.

Year-in-movies-in-review post pending, but I'm very pleased to report that I was quite successful with this resolution, too.

Okay so I win some and I lose some.  Even though I feel genuinely disappointed that I failed to make progress on my earlier goals, it's useful to be aware of that so I know I probably need to try a different strategy.

For my personal development-y resolutions, I have two somewhat interrelated goals.  The first, as discussed above, is to cultivate a more loving and accepting stance toward all living things, even the ones that fucking piss me off.

One possible drawback of my new access to a vehicle.

The second goal is to try to develop a more positive-focused outlook.  I established a late-midyear resolution targeting this goal in advance of starting internship, and let's be real: I have not done so hot with it.  

I would argue that's in part because this year has really outdone itself, even compared to previous very challenging training years.  But to look at things positively (see how I did that??), that means I am in an optimal position to practice focusing on the positive.  If everything were amazing, I would not have many opportunities to practice.  So hurray for punishingly hard years!!?

Hurrayyyyyyyyy.....

No but seriously.

With those two major goals in mind, here are my first few resolutions for 2014:

1. Start a daily journal of good things that happen.

This is maybe not the most elegant way to induce a positive outlook, but my theory is that by making a point to regularly find good things that happened in a day, even if that day was really terrible, I'll spend more time noticing and appreciating the things that go well and less time focusing on what did not.

2. When someone asks how I'm doing, I will find a positive thing to share with them.*

Because of the way in which I'm wired as a human, when someone asks how I am, I'm more quick to report on the things that don't feel good rather than the things that do.  The thing is, there are always both types of things happening in any given moment.  The things that hurt just often get more air time than the things that don't.  

The asterisk is in this one because there have been and will be days when I need to share the things that hurt because I need support, and when some people ask how I am, that's what they're offering.  However, I think it would be good for me to practice focusing on the things that are going well in the moment and not just by writing them down at the end of the day.  This will ideally have the added benefit of cheering up colleagues and others, and God knows they need it sometimes just as much as I do.

Part of my plan with this resolution is, instead of offering an unconvincing "I'm okay" as my response to inquiries about my emotional status, I want to default to something perhaps silly sounding like, "I'm still breathing!" if I can't think of anything better to say.  Maybe that sounds insanely trite or flippant, but seriously: even in the worst moments ever, that is something to be immensely grateful for and celebratory about.  Sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

3. Start daily mindfulness and lovingkindness practices.

I still have to think through how this might work, but here's a tentative plan: My morning meditations are more Zen-y, focusing only on my breath.  I like that approach, especially in the morning.  It's calm and centering.  I'm thinking I'll save these practices for later in the day, maybe alternating days because there's a limit on how many minutes are in every day and I'm trying to be realistic about how many new things I can do.

Anyway: mindfulness stuff will help me deepen my general meditative practices and are generally good for you (per my forthcoming dissertation, woo!), and lovingkindness practices facilitate better, deeper compassion for the self and for others.  So they are all really good things and I would like to do them.

4. Leave/write myself little reminders that every living thing is doing the best they can in that moment and I must do my best to be accepting and patient even if it drives me FUCKING INSANE.

Per my earlier admission, these reminders will be featured, among some possible other places, in my car.

One more?

Okay one more:

Remaining resolutions:

5. Deepen meditative practices by reading Buddhist things and at least trying one or two sangha meetings to see if they're weird or possibly okay/good.

Yes I pretty much failed to do this last year.  Yes some people define insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  I might have to ban myself from reading any other literature if we get to, say, October and I'm still not doing this shit, but I'm okay with that.

6. Get my finances in order.

In the short-term, graduate school is an utter and complete financial catastrophe.  In the long-term I am clinging to the commonly-held possible delusion that it will seem like the smartest thing ever.

We'll see.  But very happily and luckily, there are things I can do to help get myself into a good place in advance of my blessed, heralded exit from grad school (see also: testing!), and I hope to do them with enough regularity to see some positive results by this time next year.  This is particularly important to me in advance of my wedding.

7. Get better at doing things that make me happy most days.

See also: taking pictures, jeez!!  I also plan to order coloring books and colored pencils, because I heart coloring.  I want to go to museums way more often than I have in the last few months.  I want to keep having fun outings with Fiancé.

Etc.

And finally!

8. Watch ALL THE MOVIES.

Or at least 52!

Okay bedtime.  Enjoy the last day of the year!!

{Heart}

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! 2013 Edition

Darlings,

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

I hope you have enjoyed a joyful holiday of delicious things and pleasant family time!

Very unfortunately, this has been kind of a tough month.  I've scheduled my dissertation defense in February, which means kicking my statistical analyses into high gear and significantly cutting into my weekend free time.  At the same time, the length of internship days continued to gradually increase.

The cumulative insult of these stressors has resulted in what very closely resembles a physical manifestation of CIB, meaning that instead of this:

It looks more like this:

...plus losing my voice and feeling generally miserable for over a week, resulting in two missed days of work with little impact on my overall recovery.

It has been immensely tiresome.

Luckily, it seems like this bullshit is finally remitting.

I'm choosing to interpret my brush with CIB as a somewhat over-kill-y reminder of the importance of self-care.  Especially compared to my first month or two of internship and largely due to dissertation crunch time commencing, I have definitely been neglecting my responsibility to maintain a continual roster of fun outside-of-work things.

The tradeoff is that if I finish my dissertation as planned, I will have successfully secured my freedom from the clearly interminable bondage that is graduate school.  This will ensure that in the relatively near future I will have oodles of time for self-care which will only be enhanced by the positive impact on my psyche of knowing this crap has an official expiration date.

So at least there's that.

Anyway, in the spirit of the recently-passed holiday, I thought I would share a sampling of the things for which I am thankful:

1. Fiancé, who often single-handedly supports me through the many hard days I've faced in this process.

2. Our beautiful city, which offers me stunning views of itself on my nightly drives home and reminds me of how grateful and lucky I am to live somewhere that still takes my breath away.

3. Speaking of which: my fabulous Little Car, which makes what would have been an impossible, awful, miserable 90-minutes-one-way commute an utterly painless ~27 minutes jam-packed with personal space, tailored climate control, and speediness.

4. My parents and family, who are crucial sources of support, love, and guidance.

5. My spectacular friends in and out of graduate school, who bolster me through hard times and who are brilliant and wonderful.

6. Wedding planning, which is a joyful reminder that there is a whole life waiting to happen outside of graduate school.

7. My perfect kittens, who make me feel loved and snuggled.

8. Podcasts and books, which help me stay connected to the gigantic world outside of my one little life (I especially love this one, because history is delicious).

9. Delicious food, holiday-related and otherwise, which is the icing on the cake of life.

10. Meditating, stretching, breathing, and all other practices that root me calmly and lovingly in each precious moment (also this site has an iPhone app is amazing for self-soothing).

And finally, obvi:

11. You, the dear and lovely people who read this ridiculous blog.

Happy Holidays!!

{Heart}