Admittedly, given that it is the end of August, we're a bit late for a midyear resolutions update. I suppose this would more accurately be called the three-quarters-year update? But for reasons that will probably make sense shortly, the resolutions review I wanted to do earlier this summer is actually better-timed for now, as the end of the summer draws near.
So let's dive in!
The resolutions I set for 2018 were:
Resolution 1: Regularly smash the patriarchy.
As operationalized by:
--Participate in at least once weekly advocacy with my elected officials.
Some success! I continue to be extremely grateful for the existence of technology that makes civic engagement extremely easy. Themes in my outreach to elected officials have been generally along the lines of:
Why are we engaging in state-sanctioned traumatization of vulnerable children??
Why is our President actively undermining of an investigation into possible foreign interference in our elections when our elections are critical to upholding our democracy??
Why do we STILL not have anything resembling intelligent or effective gun regulations??
Etc.
The regularity of this outreach is absolutely something I need to continue to work on. When technology makes it so easy, there's really no excuse for anything less than regular advocacy.
--Ongoing self-education through self-directed reading, participation in at least one course to learn about dismantling systemic discrimination, and joining an ongoing anti-racist action group.
Less success. Sources of ongoing learning that I have accessed this year have generally included discussions in some groups I participate in on social media, as well as self-directed learning (e.g., reading articles, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts). I have not yet joined an anti-racist action group, but that is for reasons that will be expanded on shortly!
--Lead a second round of the multicultural seminar at work.
No success. I wish I had seen this through. It was also a challenging undertaking the first time around. Part of the reason I didn't pursue it a second time was that my initial experience made it ever more clear that I would need time to reflect and prepare that was not forthcoming, plus it would be valuable to have training in this extremely important area of expertise.
I have woven my emphasis in multicultural competence into other presentations I have done over the course of this year, but nothing that solely focus on multicultural competence. I hope this is an area I can build a stronger skill set in in the future.
--Practice my right to peacefully assemble and demonstrate at least 3 times this year.
Success! And there are still a few months left in the year for extra demonstrations!
--Regularly consume news media again.
Success! This is a relatively recent development that occurred largely thanks to these two great, concise podcasts.
Resolution 2: Learn all the stuff and things.
Success! Or rather, as much success as is reasonable when the goal is to learn "all the stuff and things"! I think I've finally gotten into a true, sustainable habit of reading, for which I'm extremely grateful. This has been facilitated by actually being able to enforce taking a daily lunch break, which shouldn't be a thing and yet has very much been a thing. What's great is that my emerging habit of reading during lunch has also spilled over into quiet periods at home, especially on the weekend, which is so pleasurable. Graduate training makes it very difficult to do any leisure reading, so I'm really glad to finally reclaim my enjoyment of reading.
Room for improvement remains, however: I have an ever-growing back log of articles I want to read, and I also sincerely want to recommence language learning.
Resolution 3: Write more: keep journaling and 15 posts!
Success so far! The regularity of my journaling has definitely waned especially in recent months (again, for reasons I will elaborate on shortly), but I've kept it to at least two to three entries a month. I've kept up the habit of writing at least a post a month, and if I hustle a bit in the final few months of 2018, I still have a shot of hitting my goal of 15 posts this year.
Resolution 4: Actively prepare and take steps to build the life I want.
Major success!
So.
We now arrive at this mysterious thing I've been mentioning that at least partially explains why I've fallen short on some of my other resolutions this year.
Husband and I are moving back to the City Where We Met. I've found two part-time positions that I'm extremely enthusiastic and optimistic about, and this weekend I'm traveling to the City Where We Met hoping to find our new home.
Moving to the City We Currently Live In was a leap that I'm glad for in many ways. I see that coming here provided me with some extremely useful experiences as well as knowledge about myself. That said, living here has also been an exercise in trying to talk myself into loving a place that just isn't right for me, and ultimately accepting that that exercise is an exercise in futility.
I think the biggest challenge to accepting this reality was simply acknowledging that loving a place, just like loving a person, is not a straightforwardly rational enterprise. On a visceral, instinctual level, some people just feel right. Some places simply do not.
I spent a long time trying to override my instincts with all of the rational arguments in favor of the City We Currently Live In: Our apartment is so beautiful and has great amenities! It's in a great location! There's so much history here! The summers are beautiful and we're close to places that are nice to travel to!
But here's the thing: I realize that I'm lucky I even know this--to know that there are people and places that on a fundamental level feel right for me. And after giving the City We Currently Live In an honest shot, I just can't justify spending my life here when I could be living in a place that on a cellular level my heart says "Yes!" to.
Making this change has of course taken a lot of time, thought, and effort. Once Husband and I make it happen, I'm hoping I can readily and fully recommit myself to my other resolutions for this year.
Resolution 5: Cultivate compassion.
Work needed! While I did keep up my plan of integrating loving-kindness meditation into my morning routine for a while, I have definitely slacked off in this department. This is yet another thing I'm hoping to dedicate more time to once my life has resettled.
Resolution 6: Watch at least 52 movies.
Success pending! Very happily, this is not a resolution that I've had to compromise on in the context of all these approaching changes. Full steam ahead with the movie watching!
Onward!
{Heart}
