Friday, September 29, 2017

No Masterminds Behind "Masterminds"

Hi team!

Husband and I are in the midst of a really wonderful trip celebrating the anniversary of our wedding, so I'll keep today's post brief.  Also, because my internet connection whilst abroad is not terribly strong, today's post may be imageless and underly researched.  Apologies for these perhaps insurmountable inconveniences!

One of the many ways that Husband reveals his deep thoughtfulness is by downloading movies for us to watch while we're in transit so we can kill time even when we don't have internet (i.e., on long flights or when we can't sleep because of jet lag/dramatic time zone changes).  Intelligently, he generally makes selections on the lighter side of things.

"The Lego Movie" was one of the MAJOR coups of this strategy, as we watched it while abroad and I immediately fell so deeply in love with that film.

I also fell ever more so in love with Husband via transitive properties of love, as follows:

Husband gave me "The Lego Movie" --> 
I love "The Lego Movie" --> 
I now love Husband 0.25% more  

Or is that a mediational effect?  I should know this, especially following my dissertation.

ANYWAY.  So it is not surprising, especially given the love returns on his time and effort investment, that Husband has endeavored to download funny movies while we travel, ever in pursuit of another 0.25% bump.

...Which brings us to "Masterminds" (2016).

Things that are good about "Masterminds":

  • It is a movie that exists.  This is helpful when you desire some source of entertainment in aforementioned travel-based scenarios.
  • There are approximately 3 +/- genuine laughs in this movie.  Most of them are carried by ladies, like when Kristen Wiig attempts to get herself fired or when Kate McKinnon [WARNING: THIS MIGHT NOT BE HER NAME SO APOLOGIES ALL AROUND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM INTERNETLESS] is all Kate McKinnon-y and frozen-smiley.
  • Zach Galifinakis [POSSIBLY INCORRECTLY SPELLED; AGAIN: INTERNETLESS] is sweet, earnest, and fun to watch.  He uses a pronounced Southern accent that is sometimes entertaining.
  • The movie has a somewhat amusing plot in which it's pretty much impossible to get emotionally invested.
  • It is short.

Things that are not good about "Masterminds":

  • I am likely giving him way too much credit for his involvement in Wes Anderson movies I like, but why is Owen Wilson in this??
  • I just don't care about bank robbers, robberies, wanting oodles of money with or without earning it, etc.
  • It gets really tiresome when pseudo-SNL movies are like OMG DID YOU NOTICE WE'RE DOING A BIT RIGHT NOW and pretend that that's comedy instead of acknowledging that, in actuality, it is acting as if tracts of the script were written in all caps in Comic Sans and Wingdings.  Please just... don't.
  • Not loving the insistence on romance between Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifinakis's character.  Feeling guilty for screwing someone over ≠ a lady being in love with you.
  • Crunchy tarantula goo and random disembodied ear humor: unnecessary.
  • The movie has an only somewhat amusing plot in which it's pretty much impossible to get emotionally invested.
As a result, unless you are in similar deliriously tired and/or trapped on vessel of long-distance travel circumstances, maybe don't bother with "Masterminds."  I gave it a 1.5.

{Heart}