Year In Review: Silver Lining Edition

Hi everyone,

In reflecting on 2017 as it reaches its close, like many of us I feel drawn to focus on all of the awfulness that has occurred in these last 12 months and say a hearty "good riddance" to a generally garbage year.  The occasional nitwit pop star's comment notwithstanding, we are all likely in agreement that it's a relief to see 2017 go.

However, as I consider the ways in which I want to be better in 2018, one of the things I'd like to improve is in my ability to take a balanced perspective that weighs positives accurately against negatives.  I'll elaborate more on what I mean by this in my annual Resolutions Review, but for now, on the eve of the (God willing less terrible) New Year, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the good things that happened in 2017 despite and in some cases because of the bad.

Abundant Demonstrations

This year began with the formidable Women's Marches and was punctuated with mass demonstrations in support of human rights, democracy, and basic decency.

With each protest, it was inspiring to watch my fellow citizens show up to fight for the heart of this country.  I think our organization, outrage, and commitment to justice were vastly underestimated and it's been heartening to take multiple opportunities to correct that miscalculation.

Oodles of Great Art

In 2017, even somewhat unremarkable acts became opportunities to engage in political acts of conscientious objection.  One of my first museum trip this year was MoMA's exhibition of work by artists from countries targeted in the President's xenophobic travel bans.  I've made a point to visit artistic institutions this year knowing that the arts are very much under attack and need our support as a critical form of human expression.

Spot the ancient kitten toe beans at one of our nation's finest museums!

While I find formal arts institutions are deeply comforting and enriching, I also have a deep love of street art.  I'm fortunate that I've continued to travel pretty frequently this year, and that my travels have allowed me to see some gorgeous work while simply wandering around.

Pretty much sums up my response to 2017.

Vacations to Beautiful Places and with Wonderful People

As I noted, one of the major elements of 2017's silver lining has been the trips I've taken throughout the year.  Some of these have been little weekend getaways with dear friends and/or Husband.  A few of these weekends have brought together groups of my friends I don't often get to see, and these have been particularly precious excursions. 

Due to the generosity of Husband's family, Husband and I also got to take a more far-flung voyage for our wedding anniversary.  It was an incredible trip that allowed me to experience aspects of my family's heritage that were gratifyingly grounding.

New Babies, New Marriages, Adoptions, and First Birthdays

Several happy developments happened in families I love this year.  Friends and family got married, got engaged, and welcomed new humans.  Two of my very favorite people celebrated the first birthdays of their children this year.  Family members have adopted beautiful and lucky pups. 

Love persists.

Excellent Food Eaten and Made

Oh goodness some good food happened this year, including this one at my all-time favorite deli ever.

May not look like much, but every bite = pure ecstasy.

Good meals, comprised of delicious food in good company and a memorable place, have a way of staying with me and nourishing me long after they're over.  I also had some opportunities to discover the pleasure of making good food, including some Great British Baking Show-inspired macrons that actually turned out pretty great!

Renewed Readiness to Build the Life I Want

Finally, and perhaps best of all, this year has elicited an uncompromising, clarified, and fortified readiness to stride purposefully toward the life I want.  While the new year likely holds many challenges, I'm also so excited for the changes I hope to make in the year ahead.

I hope everyone enjoys a joyful and safe New Year's Eve!

{Heart}

On Witch Hunts

Hi team,

So this might seem odd, but I'm going to dedicate this year's post-Thanksgiving entry to witch hunts.  I have a little bit to say to explain how I'm allocating my gratitude, but then I want to turn the mic over to some other ladies who are likely much more articulate than I could hope to be after a long work day.

Here's why I'm thankful for witch hunts:

This time last year, we were still working through the immediate aftermath of a catastrophic presidential election.  I was stunned, devastated, sickened, and terrified.  It was hard to see how our democracy would survive the coming relentless assault.

It's clear that we're still in the midst of an extremely dark era that requires the constant vigilance and concerted civic action of its citizens (a curated list of the things requiring our efforts from just the last few days: protecting net neutrality, defending DACA, and telling our President to stop using racial slurs while in the presence of Native American war heroes).  I would nevertheless argue there are is a razor-thin but still present silver lining to the storm clouds buffeting the nation.

That silver lining is the direct byproduct of the election.  It is the byproduct of slamming the backs of every woman, person of color, member of a religious minority, and LGBTQIA person against an unyielding and brutal wall.  The grave miscalculation of cornering all of us is that we know we have nowhere to run and everything to lose.  There are so many of us, and we know we must fight.  So if you're a would-be destroyer of civil rights or a perpetrator of oppression, we're coming for you.  You've given us no choice.

One of the ways this manifests is this: we've finally entered the chapter of our nation's history in which, if a powerful man abuses his power by engaging in sexual maltreatment of his colleagues or underlings, he will finally suffer meaningful, necessary consequences.

It's extremely painful watching this chapter unfold.  Men I once admired and whose work I once enjoyed are now dead to me.  Learning of the acts of abuse they've perpetrated against people who worked for them, trusted them, and relied on them to be safe, respectful colleagues, leaders, and mentors is extremely upsetting and enraging.  Watching cowards and victims of internalized misogyny wring their hands, make excuses, (bafflingly) pity perpetrators, and--worst of all--disparage those brave enough to speak up is nauseating.  None of this is pretty or easy, but it is bracingly just.

So because of all this ugliness, here's the good news:
--Abusers are scared and ever more of them are being outed, because on both counts they should be.
--We now have the opportunity to seek out, uplift, and enjoy the work of so many other people who were overlooked or stifled because of our society's dying worship of abusive men.
--We now get to learn that we don't need and won't miss abusive men.

For myself, I plan to never consume the work of outed abusers again because I refuse to participate in the enabling and monetization of exploitation and abuse of power.  I refuse to fuel the machine of toxic masculinity.  It's ground up and spat out the lives of way too many people. Now we've got to shut it down.

I will be adding notes to previous posts in which I've discussed the work of now-known abusers stating my disavowal of their work and linking to this post to further explain my stance.  Moving forward, I will do my best to avoid in any way supporting the work of men accused of sexual maltreatment or harassment (also just being straight-up racist or misogynist).  Whenever I learn that I've inadvertently consumed work created by an outed abuser, I will add one of these notes.

So now, without further ado, here are some very much worth-reading things other women have to say.

On misappropriating (and re-appropriating) witch hunts, 

by Lindy West

On anyone who feels sorry for men in the context of a sea change in which those who have been oppressed maybe have the chance to not be so constantly oppressed, 

by JR Thorpe

On the specific toxic brand of misogyny and patriarchy woven into the fabric of American society, 

by Paulina Porizkova

On how to actually apologize for sexually exploiting others, 

by Leah Fessler, Annalisa Merelli, and Sari Zeidler

And finally, on how to take the concerted action required of this moment (and all future moments) if you, men, truly want to be considered an ally, 

by Iveta

In conclusion, if we scare you, feel free to call us witches.  Witches are terrifying.  Witches are powerful.

To get your own copy of this excellent image, go here.

{Heart}

A Halloween Sampler Supplement!

Happy Halloween Eve Dear Friends!

I know I have already given you oodles of frightening features to choose from this spooky season, but why not tack on one more?

I've admittedly gone a bit overboard with the horror movies this year, which has clearly lent itself well to having a whole bunch of movies to talk about in this year's round-up. This has likely been facilitated

a) by my excellent podcast-driven recent rediscovery of my long-standing love of the deeply morbid subject of true crime, and 

b) an even more recent change in my schedule that means I, gratefully and with gusto, do not work on Mondays anymore. 

No more work on Mondays = SO MUCH MORE movie time!

So, without further ado, an additional entry into this year's scary selection:

"I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House" (2016)

Rating: 4 Scary Rating: !!

This is the second of director Osgood Perkins' two total movies.  (I already reviewed his first feature, "The Blackcoat's Daughter" (2015).)  I'm happy to say that many of the traits that led me to enjoy his other movie are present in "Pretty Thing": the story almost exclusively focuses on female characters and their powerful influences on each other and the pacing allows the viewer to slowly stew in the film's creepy, dark mood.  As a nice addition, the cinematography expertly dials up the tension through long, haunting, claustrophobia-inducing takes of the interior of the home that forms the entire setting of the film.  Somewhat reminiscent of films like "The Others" (2001), shots play with light and darkness, plugging into primordial fears of night and the unseen.

A major tradeoff of the film is that, especially by comparison to "The Blackcoat's Daughter," the climax of "Pretty Thing" is pretty lackluster... to the point that I googled other reviews of the film to make sure I hadn't missed something that should have scared me more than I was actually scared.  Incidentally, this blog seems pretty solid, and apparently this writer and I share similar movie-watching styles (minus the dog).

In other news, Husband and I were successful both in completing our annual jack-o'-lantern carving AND in introducing Husband to "Get Out" (2017).  Evidence:

Rod FTW!!

GUYS SERIOUSLY WATCH "GET OUT."

In closing, I hope you have a happy, safe, and fun Halloween tomorrow!

{Heart}

A Halloween Sampler for All Souls: 2017 Edition!

Halloooooooooooooooooooo!

We have arrived at the creepy season in which I get to share with you some of the spookiest films I've seen this year to hopefully enhance your Halloween viewing!  I'm so excited!!

As you may remember, for the annual Halloween Sampler, I supplement our usual 1 - 5 rating scale with the additional bonus scary/intense rating system of 1 - 5 exclamation points, where ! = not at all scary, and !!!!! = so scary!

Because I watched a whole bunch of scary movies this year, I have decided to do an EXTENDO Halloween Sampler, now with TEN movies instead of our usual five! 

GOBS OF MORTIFYING MOVIES.  

FAR MORE FRIGHTENING FLICKS.  

OODLES MORE FREAKY FILMS.

ETC.

Away we go!

So first of all, let's not forget that I already covered one awesome scary movie I saw this year: "Under the Shadow" (2016).

I gave it a 4, and would give it a !!! scary rating.

And now, for this year's never-before-reviewed-here movies!

"The Beguiled" (2017)

Rating: 2  Scary Rating: !

Honestly?  I struggled through this one.  Which is annoying, because I love Colin Farrell for his roles in "The Lobster" (2015) and the exquisite "In Bruges" (2008).  Kirsten Dunst is goddamned magical in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" (1999).  Nicole Kidman gave me "The Others" (2001), one of my favorite horror movies of all time.  But despite all that high caliber talent, the only characters with any goddamned sense are children.  Why??

Also, because the only scary bits are scary because of behavior resulting from toxic masculinity, which pervades so much of everything already, the moments of fear in this otherwise pretty limp movie are more triggering than fun-scary.  Maybe skip this one?  Instead, watch:

"My Cousin Rachel" (2017)

Rating: 4  Scary Rating: !!

Interesting, surprising, deeply and hauntingly atmospheric and psychological, this is a pretty great movie.  You likely won't walk out of it feeling great, as there are definitely some shared themes between "My Cousin Rachel" and "The Beguiled."  They are both period-y pieces rife with dark sexual tension brought on by the introduction of a mysterious and only-understood-when-it's-too-late character.  However, where "The Beguiled" falls sadly flat, "My Cousin Rachel" unsettles and ultimately delivers through the course of its twists and turns.

"Alien: Covenant" (2017)

Rating: 2  Scary Rating: !!!

One of this year's two sci-fi offerings!

There is at least one upside of being badly burned by the gigantic Noomi Rapace-squandering disappointment that was "Prometheus" (2012), and that is going into "Alien: Covenant" with expectations set, realistically, extremely low.  That might be the main reason this film earned a rating above a 1.  It was honestly pretty terrible, including one particularly unforgivable Fassbender-squared scene in which Fassbender 1 teaches Fassbender 2 to play the flute.

Why?

That aside, there is admittedly some great art direction, the usual "Alien"-y sampling of disturbing stuff, and an occasional jump scare.  If you want to unintended-laugh your way through an occasionally scary movie about creepy aliens and robots, this is definitely your film!

If you're not down to kind of waste your time, instead watch:

"The Girl with all the Gifts" (2016)

Rating: 4  Scary Rating: !!

Based on a seriously fun book of the same name, this film is a great and fresh-feeling take on the somewhat past-its-moment zombie movie.  Sennia Nanua is absolutely lovely as Melanie, the titular girl with all the (at times dubious) gifts.  Given how much I enjoyed its source material, I was concerned about its status as a direct-to-home-release film.  I was therefore very pleasantly surprised by the quality of the production and effects.  They even recruited Glenn Close for a central character!  Okay, no aliens or space stuff, but the science fiction elements make this film a great replacement for that "Covenant" crap.

"Mommy Dead and Dearest" (2017)

Rating: 4.5  Scary Rating: !!

This fascinating film follows a deeply twisted story I first learned about when I was noodling around on Buzzfeed late one insomniac night over a year ago.  Given that I was trying to tune out enough that I could fall asleep again, I made the possibly ill-informed decision to read this excellent article covering the murder of Dee Dee Blancharde.  While not exactly terrifying in a jump-out-of-your-seat way, it is definitely a chilling tale.

"There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane" (2011)

Rating: 5  Scary Rating: !!

This year's second documentary offering!  While not at all a conventionally scary movie, the event centered in this film--a lethal, horrifying, and unexplained wrong-way car crash that killed four children, three adults in another vehicle, and 36-year-old Diane Schuler--leaves a pit in my stomach even now when I think about it, months after watching.  It is an exhaustively researched and haunting study in the incomprehensibility of life's worst moments.

"The Blackcoat's Daughter" (2015)

Rating: 4  Scary Rating: !!!!

I really enjoyed this almost exclusively lady-dominated horror movie.  It's a brooding, thoughtfully paced slow-burning character study that builds to a pretty horrifying crescendo, carried creepily along by the very well-partnered performances of Mad Men's Kiernan Shipka and American Horror Story's Emma Roberts.  It's not the world's most perfect narrative in that the film tips its hand with its major twist pretty clearly if you ask me, but it's worth watching nevertheless.

"Personal Shopper" (2016)

Rating: 4  Scary Rating: !!!!

Disclosure time: I was originally ambivalent about seeing "Personal Shopper" because of Kristen Stewart's participation in some pretty bad movies, including "Into the Wild" (2007) and the abysmally terrible, abusive-relationship-celebrating "Twilight" movie series.  "Personal Shopper" has shown me that I might need to save my resentful disdain for Robert Pattinson, because she was GREAT in this film.  It artfully combines real-world psychological and violent terror with haunting, unsettling supernatural elements, creating a really interesting and well-executed yet subtle film that leaves many unnerving questions lingering unanswered.

"It" (2017)

Rating: 4.5  Scary Rating: !!!!!

So I've never read Stephen King's "It", nor have I seen the original version of the movie, which might skew my reaction to what for many people is a major horror touchstone.

Sidenote: So It loses his power if no one fears him, huh?

So our horrifying monster is basically a hellish Tinker Bell?

Interesting...

All that aside, I nevertheless found 2017's remake an extremely satisfying and intense good-scary time.  The movie frighteningly captures the helplessness and desperation of a town refusing to see its most vulnerable citizens are being preyed upon.  The imagery and mood are terrifying before the credits even begin, and the fear is skillfully sustained through the length of the film.  The acting excellent across each of the film's young stars, although I particularly loved Sophia Lillis as Bev for her sweetness and vulnerability balanced against worldliness and an iron-clad will to survive.  I was so invested in the story and genuinely pent up with tension that at one jump-scare I spontaneously exclaimed a curse word in the theater--but luckily everyone else in the audience was reacting so loudly my "SHIT!" got drowned out.

Best of all, however, is Bill Skarsgård's Pennywise as he takes breakneck turns between giggle-inducing zaniness, growling predation, unnatrually swift pursuit, and pointy-teethed ravenousness.

I mean what the hell is that??

And finally, by far my very favorite scary movie of the last year:

"Get Out" (2017)

Rating: 5  Scary Rating: !!!!!

GUYS YOU HAVE TO SEE "GET OUT".  It is all the things I want in a horror movie.  It is inventive, smart, beautifully and affectingly shot, and surprisingly and compellingly told.  Daniel Kaluuya beautifully slides from a discreetly discerning watchfulness into sheer, frozen terror, pulling us right along with him.  Seeing "Get Out" in theaters shortly after it opened was some of the most fun I've had watching a movie in a long time--people screamed, laughed, and perched at the edges of our seats through every minute.  Walking out of the theater, everyone was winded and exhilarated like we were unloading from an amazing rollercoaster.

In addition to all the great things there are to be said about "Get Out", it very clearly joins the pantheon of what are, in my opinion, truly great horror movies: movies that actively grapple with the true horrors of human existence.  As I noted in previous discussions of my love of zombie movies, horror is an excellent genre in which to explore darker aspects of human nature by pitting our angels and demons against each other.

"Under the Shadow" and pretty much all the movies covered in last year's Halloween Sampler actively contend with the horrors women endure as consequences of sexism and misogyny, at times in the form of djinns, witchcraft, or the devil himself, and at others in the forms of oppressive governments, bombardments of war, crooked justice systems, and murderous men.

"Get Out" is very much a study in the horrors of racism.  Without spoiling things, we watch Daniel Kaluuya's Chris contend with unduly suspicious cops, otherizing scrutiny and tone deaf comments from white people, and finally much darker manifestations of our nation's racist history and present that morph into decidedly sinister forces.  To pull that off so beautifully while still forging a sense of thrill in its audience is illustrative of pretty superlative filmmaking, which makes me extremely excited to see what else director Jordan Peele will accomplish.

Happy Haunting this glorious Halloween, dear readers!

{Heart}

No Masterminds Behind "Masterminds"

Hi team!

Husband and I are in the midst of a really wonderful trip celebrating the anniversary of our wedding, so I'll keep today's post brief.  Also, because my internet connection whilst abroad is not terribly strong, today's post may be imageless and underly researched.  Apologies for these perhaps insurmountable inconveniences!

One of the many ways that Husband reveals his deep thoughtfulness is by downloading movies for us to watch while we're in transit so we can kill time even when we don't have internet (i.e., on long flights or when we can't sleep because of jet lag/dramatic time zone changes).  Intelligently, he generally makes selections on the lighter side of things.

"The Lego Movie" was one of the MAJOR coups of this strategy, as we watched it while abroad and I immediately fell so deeply in love with that film.

I also fell ever more so in love with Husband via transitive properties of love, as follows:

Husband gave me "The Lego Movie" --> 

I love "The Lego Movie" --> 

I now love Husband 0.25% more  

Or is that a mediational effect?  I should know this, especially following my dissertation.

ANYWAY.  So it is not surprising, especially given the love returns on his time and effort investment, that Husband has endeavored to download funny movies while we travel, ever in pursuit of another 0.25% bump.

...Which brings us to "Masterminds" (2016).

Things that are good about "Masterminds":

• It is a movie that exists.  This is helpful when you desire some source of entertainment in aforementioned travel-based scenarios.

• There are approximately 3 +/- genuine laughs in this movie.  Most of them are carried by ladies, like when Kristen Wiig attempts to get herself fired or when Kate McKinnon [WARNING: THIS MIGHT NOT BE HER NAME SO APOLOGIES ALL AROUND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM INTERNETLESS] is all Kate McKinnon-y and frozen-smiley.

• Zach Galifinakis [POSSIBLY INCORRECTLY SPELLED; AGAIN: INTERNETLESS] is sweet, earnest, and fun to watch.  He uses a pronounced Southern accent that is sometimes entertaining.

• The movie has a somewhat amusing plot in which it's pretty much impossible to get emotionally invested.

• It is short.

Things that are not good about "Masterminds":

• I am likely giving him way too much credit for his involvement in Wes Anderson movies I like, but why is Owen Wilson in this??

• I just don't care about bank robbers, robberies, wanting oodles of money with or without earning it, etc.

• It gets really tiresome when pseudo-SNL movies are like OMG DID YOU NOTICE WE'RE DOING A BIT RIGHT NOW and pretend that that's comedy instead of acknowledging that, in actuality, it is acting as if tracts of the script were written in all caps in Comic Sans and Wingdings.  Please just... don't.

• Not loving the insistence on romance between Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifinakis's character.  Feeling guilty for screwing someone over ≠ a lady being in love with you.

• Crunchy tarantula goo and random disembodied ear humor: unnecessary.

• The movie has an only somewhat amusing plot in which it's pretty much impossible to get emotionally invested.

As a result, unless you are in similar deliriously tired and/or trapped on vessel of long-distance travel circumstances, maybe don't bother with "Masterminds."  I gave it a 1.5.

{Heart}

"Ingrid Goes West" Into Treacherous Territory

Dear friends,

I just saw "Ingrid Goes West" (2017), and I want to tell you about it.

The film tells the tale of Ingrid Thorburn (played by Aubrey Plaza), a lost and lonely young woman plagued by her desperation for connection.  She turns to Instagram as a means of accessing some approximation of intimacy, conflating voyeurism with closeness and the occasional Insta-comment niceties for banter between friends.

After her dramatic destruction of one such "friendship" and a resultant inpatient psychiatric treatment, Ingrid discovers a new potential platonic attachment figure in Taylor Sloane (played by Elizabeth Olsen) and relocates to Los Angeles to pursue a friendship with her.

What follows is by turns darkly hilarious, viscerally cringe-inducing, and deeply unnerving.  While I wouldn't say this makes for comfortable viewing, it is nevertheless fascinating.

Ingrid wraps herself in thicker and thicker folds of lies, bending and breaking various laws along the way, in an effort to establish, shore up, and then defend the relationship she forms with Taylor.  And in part because Taylor is also lost and lonely in a way that only people with painstakingly curated #perfect lives can be, for a time Ingrid's strident maneuvering into Taylor's life actually works.

One of several successes of "Ingrid Goes West" is its convincing assertion is that the howling emptiness that dominates Ingrid's life finds its clear though less virulent sister in the hollowness of Taylor's.  While Ingrid is painfully aware of her urgent and unmet need for genuine affiliation and intimacy, Taylor's smacks her in the face with increasing frankness but never quite powerfully enough to break through the veneer of her denial.

Another notable coup is the film's success in finding a different way of telling a story that admittedly has several previous iterations.  This is not a film about obsessive romantic love like "Fatal Attraction" (1987), "Obsessed" (2009) (throwback!), or my personal favorite, the UTTERLY TERRIFYING "Amelie" (2001) gone haywire of "He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not" (2002).  It's also not the creepy "erotic" (giant quotation marks implied) nightmare of a roommate relationship gone awry as portrayed in "Single White Female" (1992).  Instead of veering into deranged jilted slasher territory, "Ingrid Goes West" takes a different path into terrain that is more real and therefore more humanizing to all concerned... while still ending on a decidedly disconcerting note. **

Of all the film's little twists and emotional notes, what is lingering most prominently is my empathic terror for Ingrid.  Spoilers ahoy, but: As she weeps into her phone in what she plans to be her final Insta-post, she lays bare how achingly she wishes not to be alone anymore.  If there's no one to share one's life with, she wonders, what's the point?  And given how much she stumbles and falters in trying to form connections with others precisely because she wants connection so badly, the audience has to wonder what it would take for her to escape the isolated cage in which she finds herself.  It's hard to see how Ingrid could get out of her own way.

The choice she makes in that moment is not an effective one.  Yet, in a final twist that is at once deeply problematic and in some ways true, it is precisely this choice, made when she is at her most self-destructive, that yields her highest relational rewards.  Because of how dangerously her attempted self-destruction is reinforced, it's clear that Ingrid's path toward clarity, balance, self-understanding, and sustainable relationships will be long--but hopefully, with the influence of her sweet new boyfriend Dan (played by O'Shea Jackson Jr.), not impassable.

I gave the movie a 4.

{Heart}




** = This film includes a suicide attempt.  Suicide is a permanent answer to temporary problems--and truly, they are all temporary if you stick around long enough to work through them.  If you need help to do that, please reach out for support.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273 8255
suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Snap Judgment: Not Getting Sick of "The Big Sick"

Hey team,

If you haven't already heard about it, I'd like to roll out another Snap Judgment to tell you about "The Big Sick" (2017).

This is that thing in which I highlight five main points about a movie I've seen before revealing my overall 1-5 score.

Away we go!

• A movie about performing comedy that's actually enjoyable!

Unlike another film focused on similar content that I recently hated a whole lot on, "The Big Sick" portrays Kumail Nanjiani's life in the Chicago comedy scene in a manner that doesn't make you want to throw things at every single comic on screen.

First of all: the main reason I was super pumped about "The Big Sick" is that I had the pleasure of already being familiar with Kumail Nanjiani's thoroughly delightful stand-up.  It is excellent and I highly recommend it!

This is hardly to say that every character in "The Big Sick" is perfect or perfectly likable.  We see characters (like real-life comics Aidy Bryant, Bo Burnham*, and Kurt Braunohler) take turns smugly succeeding over their friends while others trot out horrifically flat bits.  We see them straight-up lie to each other's faces about the quality of their acts.

The great thing is, on at least one occasion, we also see them call themselves out as cowards for their dishonesty a second later.  We see other characters start to join their compatriots on the ladder of success.  We also see them shine in genuine moments of humor.  So in their totality, we end up feeling like we've had a little peek behind the curtain of the stand-up stage.

• Audience intelligence: respected

God knows I love a movie that doesn't beat me over the head with its plot points.  This is a movie that sits comfortably and assuredly in its subtleties and its audience's ability to perceive and value them.

There's one particular moment whose emotional impact only makes sense in retrospect, and it's one of the sweetest pay-offs of the film.  It's carried off by Holly Hunter and Ray Romano, who are SO GOOD in their roles as Emily's (played by Zoe Kazan) parents.

The audience's intelligence and humanity is also respected as the film lays out the challenges of Kumail's attempts to coexist within his Pakistani culture of origin and American culture.  While he fears he cannot retain the love of his family if he deviates too much from the cultural expectations they hold, he nevertheless increasingly ensconces himself in American culture by pursuing his "just below ISIS"-level-unacceptability comedy career and forgoing religious and marital traditions.  We walk alongside Kumail as he negotiates the conflict between his two cultures and are trusted to see the value in both choices.

• Buckle up for some excellent hilarious lady time!

So many of the finest comedic moments belong to the ladies of the film.  Helen Hunt is so deliciously watchable in her no-bullshit yet affectionate feistiness.  Aidy Bryant has a particularly wonderful moment as she physically registers just how terrible one of Kumail's sets was.  I got so excited I nearly fell out of my chair when "Crazy Ex Girlfriend's" Vella Lovell showed up, and while her moments maybe aren't hilarious, she is so magnetic, self-assured, fierce, and charming.

But the biggest task of all of "The Big Sick" belongs to Zoe Kazan, who had to win us over and fully assert her personhood before promptly lapsing into a medically-induced coma for most of the movie.  She brings a fervent, heartfelt, sweet, yet firmly self-knowing fullness to the character of Emily, and the film is made much better for it.

• And yet: just barely passing the Bechdel Test

For all of the truly great things about "The Big Sick," one of the complaints I have is that it passes the Bechdel Test by the skin of its teeth.  For all of the excellent lady talent in this film, they almost squeaked by without having any of those ladies actually talk to each other about stuff other than dudes.  It's astonishing how high a bar this test continues to be.

• Rewatchability factor: high

I noted in my last post that Husband and I were headed to see this movie.  I went to see it again as part of a Birthweekend extravaganza with my little sister.  I don't often see movies twice in such a short period of time--the most recent example of this phenomenon is the STILL AWESOME "LEGO MOVIE" OMG, which holds the all-time record of being rewatched within 48 hours.

I'm very happy to say that "The Big Sick" totally holds up after a relatively rapid second viewing.  This film's love story is sweet and compelling and lacking in cliche.  Its story is well-told, thoughtful, and fun.  And best of all, it was the ladies' jokes that had me laughing hardest the second time around.

With that, I gave "The Big Sick" a 4.5.

Thanks for reading!

{Heart}


* = Sidenote: if you go to Bo Burnham's website and answer that "Yes," you're happy, you are re-routed to the "About Me" section of his website.

Alternatively, if you answer that "No," you're not happy, you are re-routed to a page about his dog Bruce--presumably to cheer people up.

Aw!!

Midyear Resolutions Update

Hi again!

I had the idea that it would be wise and consistent with actual commitment to my New Year's resolutions to take this opportunity, as we conclude the first half of 2017, to assess how I'm doing on actually doing the things.

Also!  Because I can just never shake that perfectionistic itch, I'm feeling mad I haven't written more than one post per month.  So: TWO posts this month bitches!!

This also gives me an opportunity to share a bunch more Pusheen!

Commence!

Resolution 1: Regularly smash the patriarchy.

I had a relatively concrete plan of attack for patriarchy-smashing.  It included:

--Participate in regular direct advocacy with my elected officials.

Me whilst faxing

Some success!  Although keeping up with the daily text alert-prompted phone calls has unfortunately not been so sustainable (which is not meant to dissuade use of this exceedingly helpful service), I discovered yet another tech-facilitated app that is awesome and has enabled me to send indignant faxes by text message.  In fact, my new approach is to use the daily text alerts I receive to inform the angry faxes I receive.  I'm so tech-savvy!  It's AWESOME and very satisfying!

--Set up recurring donations to advocacy organizations that will protect causes that are important to me, including civil rights and preservation of other democratic values like freedom of speech, assembly, and press.

Success!  I'm proud to say that Husband and I did this!  I'm really grateful to finally be in a position to be able to actually engage in this kind of support for causes that matter to us.

--Ongoing self-education through self-directed reading and, ideally, participation in courses to learn about dismantling systemic discrimination.

Not so much!  While I've managed to keep puttering through articles relevant to issues that are important to me, as you'll see below, I have continued to find it frustratingly difficult to tolerate regular contact with the news due to higher-than-typical levels of chronic despair.  This is a genuine area of struggle for me, because I think being regularly informed is a central responsibility of good citizenship.  I am really unhappy with my current lack of fulfillment of this responsibility.  I'm still waiting for my tolerance to come back and am not yet sure what will help me recover it.  

--Advocacy, conversation, and education with colleagues to ensure they feel empowered to stand up for the vulnerable communities we serve as expert, ethical practitioners.

Success!  With the input of some of the incredible trainees I worked with this year, I put together a multicultural seminar at work.  The seminar emphasized cultivating greater self-awareness of cultural influences on our work and, given that psychology is an inherently social justice-driven discipline, identifying ways that mental health practitioners can weave social justice into their practice.  It was not easy or perfect, but I'm glad to have been given the opportunity to do it and to push myself to take the lead on something that is both really important and values-driven but also really intimidating.

--Practicing my right to peacefully assemble and demonstrate.

Some success!  While I feel I could always do more of this, I've gone to several demonstrations in support of issues that are important to me and have found them really inspiring.

--Regularly consume news media again.  

Nope!  The most I've been able to manage is NPR's five-minute morning news summary.  This has definitely fueled several early-morning rage faxes, but is nowhere near enough for an appropriate level of engagement given the extremely dire circumstances of the current era.

Resolution 2: Learn all the stuff and things.

Some success!  While unfortunately I really have not continued working on my Swedish, I have been reading a lot more for leisure.  I am so grateful for this development in my life, because I was frustrated to be unable to read for fun through so many years of grad school and am so enjoying it now.

Resolution 3: Find ways to meaningfully and consistently set limits with work.

Guys.

Guys.

GUYS.

GUYS I DID A THING.

...Pending success!  I've actually done this!!  And it will actually maybe start achieving full effect in like two weeks, and even more so in the fall!

Success mermaids!

Resolution 4: Write more.

Some success!  By writing this post I am totally on my way to more than 13 posts per year, and while my frequency of journal-writing has decreased somewhat, I have still actually kept it up to at least once a week.  This is in part maintained by my enrollment in a stickers-by-mail monthly subscription and resultant self-reinforcement with stickers for every journal entry I write (because we've already established how embarrassingly reinforceable I am by stickers).

Resolution 5: Watch at least 52 movies.

Success!  Or at least, I am fully on track, as evidenced by the fact that I need to wrap this up so Husband and I can go see tonight's entry in my at-least-52-movies list!

So this actually feels really great while also being a helpful reminder that, as always, there's still work to be done.

Yay!  Onward into the next half of the year, with gusto!

{Heart}