"Katy Perry: Part of Me" Actually Really Liked This Movie

Salut,

I'm happy to report that, as promised, I've managed to make pretty awesome progress in regaining my movie-watching stride in the past month.  It is my pleasure to report to you that I have watched TEN WHOLE MOVIES during the month of July.

I would like to thank several things for facilitating this accomplishment:

1. Netflix View Instantly
2. Boyfriend being willing to watch stuff with me (since a willing movie-watching partner is NOT something to be taken for granted)
3. The digusting, humid, oppressive heat visited upon my fair city for the better part of the last four weeks, which discouraged all but the most necessary departures from very near proximity to the window A/C units in my apartment

I am truly pleased with this reversal, and hope to utilize my remaining break time to write about my cinematic exploits at great length.

To kick that off, I want to start by talking about this movie, which as the title of this post reveals I actually really liked:

Yep.  This one.

I know.

Wtf.

Boyfriend and I decided to watch this movie essentially as a joke.  We wanted some light fare that we wouldn't be very invested in.  We basically signed up for an evening of laughing at some dumb pop star's self-indulgent exhibitionism spree.  Then we turned to each other 75% through the movie and, kind of horrified and kind of embarrassed, admitted to each other that we were really enjoying it.

As discussed previously, there's this unexpected and honestly wonderful thing that can happen when you go into a movie-watching experience expecting little or nothing.  As long as you leave your heart a little bit open for it to surprise you, in that frame of mind you can really be swept away by a film.

That is certainly part of what was at work in my enjoyment of "Katy Perry: Part of Me" (2012).  I gave this movie almost no chance of being actually good, and so anything better than not-at-all-good was going to be a welcome turning-of-tables.  The bar was set quite low for this one.

But that's not by any means all there is to it.  "Part of Me" may have benefitted to some extent from that low bar, but honestly, it cleared the bar with a pretty soaring leap.

"How, how???" you might ask.

Well let me tell you, with an orderly list.

1. The concert footage is gorgeous.

The movie covers Perry's world-wide concert tour, and the performances are shot beautifully.  As you might expect for any top-selling pop star, the production values for her concerts look very no-expense-spared, and the result is pretty spectacular.

2. The concerts look super fun.

Okay yes, they also look really silly, but silly can totally = fun!  I hadn't totally appreciated this before seeing the movie, but bringing to life the wacky neon-colored confectionary world from Perry's music videos seems like another, perhaps less appropriate (or maybe more like inappropriate in a different way), Disneyland.  And Disneyland is awesome.

You can tell that I'm seriously a convert because I really am saying something this cliché:
3. Perry really seems to care about her fans.

We see Perry making time to greet a selection of her fans at each concert stop.  I'm not sure how typical this is, but it's still really sweet.

What's truly special, though, is that at each concert, fans who come dressed up are invited to join her in the performance of one of her songs.  The people onstage with her look so overjoyed it's hard not to be touched.

This is one of a few parts of the movie that really sold it for me.  Full disclosure, though: this is in part because one of the best things that ever EVER happened to me was being asked to dance onstage with one of my favorite bands.  Dressed as Santa Claus.  In Paris.

You can totally see me if you look for a ponytail and an industrial-sized flashlight.

It was an experience that still fills me with gratitude for the random generosity of the Universe and for humans who don't have to be extra wonderful, but are.  Also Wayne Coyne hugged me, and it was like best thing ever to the millionth power.  So if Katy Perry is doing stuff like that for her fans, seriously, she's pretty great.

4. You get to see Katy Perry as a semi-normal person.

Perry looks like a surprisingly average person when she isn't swimming in makeup, hyper-pigmented hair, and dresses with spinning peppermints on her boobs.  She is obviously anything but average given that she is a megastar, and how she looks when she isn't prepped for a performance perhaps shouldn't make so much of a difference in how I think or feel about her.  But if I'm honest, seeing her in civilian mode made her seem so much more accessible and endearing than her caked-on glitter and eye shadow alter ego, and it made me like her more.

I suppose in part, because there is such a difference between how she looks when she's "in character" and when she isn't, I respected her for showing herself how she actually is.  There are certainly some performers who seem to prefer to stay hidden behind their own artifice.  She didn't have to show us anything other than her performing persona, but she did.

Spoiler alert:
5. And then she cries.

So here's what really did it for me: the filming of the movie coincided with the dissolution of Perry's marriage to Russell Brand.  This personal crisis reaches a climax as Perry is about to perform in Brazil for the largest audience of her tour.

We see her curled in a ball sobbing backstage.  We see her assistants try as gently as possible to get her into makeup and costume without breaking her into ever smaller pieces.  Then we see her virtually carried to the little platform on which she will rise up through the stage to make her entrance, hear the roaring crowd eagerly awaiting her, and watch her struggle to pull herself together.  Then, she finally manages to freeze a blinding smile on her face, lock into a mannequin-like pose with her microphone poised, and she is lifted into the light.  And it breaks my fucking heart.

I'm sure a chorus of the world's tiniest violins plays for fantastically wealthy and famous people like Katy Perry, but screw that.  In spite of the bizarre context of this particular person's painful moment, it is nevertheless profoundly and universally human.  Everyone has had moments in which devastation and heartache had to be squished down beneath a veneer of "Everything's fine!!!!"  It's a terrible kind of pain, and it's sad to see anyone going through it.  So what if they're a silly pop star.

Then there's a pretty obvious caveat, of which Boyfriend and I were keenly aware even as it happened: we were being royally manipulated.  The movie opens and closes with video confessionals by Katy Perry fans who gush about how the artist changed their lives and gave them the courage to be who they really are.  Several of her assistants also claim to be her close friends and confidants, and carry on about how wonderful and fun she is.  This movie is pretty freaking excited about itself and definitely exaggerates the importance of its subject.  Of course it's going to be strongly pro-Perry, but it's hard not to gag on that a bit.

So I gave the movie a 4, and I stand by it.  It still feels weird admitting it, but part of me totally loves Katy Perry now.

More movies forthcoming!

{Heart}







Ps: Btw, this happened:

So I guess instead of "Boyfriend," I should start referring to him as "Fiancé."

:D

Crawling to the Finish Line

Hi guys,

You might have noticed that I've taken a two month hiatus from post writing.

Perhaps predictably, this annoys me immensely, as this hiatus was largely against my will.

I missed my monthly post deadline in May for very good reasons: Boyfriend and I were in Europe for an incredible 2+ week trip, and I lost track of what day it was.  Although I wasn't happy to miss a month because I really wanted to post regularly this year, it seemed like a pretty good reason to slip up.

(Related additional updates and fabulous pictures post on the horizon!)

THIS month, however, my reasons feel largely unacceptable.

The following reasons are exceptions: Boyfriend's sister and a classmate got married, and I planned and attended my best friend's bachelorette party.  These are the happiest time commitments possible.

On the other hand: June was the last month of my second and final externship, and it was insane.

During the past four weeks, I kept being reminded by colleagues and loved ones that I was almost done.  This seemed to be an attempt to soothe me by reassuring me that the stress and rush and lack of sleep and utter dearth of personal time would all be over soon, and that before I even knew it I would be able to relax.

Instead, the reminders made me feel like this:

...because in reality, it felt not like I was so close to being done that the year would be over before I knew it, but instead more like this:

Near-ish as in, definitely not near enough.

...which is to say that even a month, even a week, even a day at this break-neck, so-tired-and-overworked-I-can-hardly-think speed felt like WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH TIME.  TOO MUCH.

Major caveat being: I loved my clients and my actual real-live therapy time so very much.  I've done deeply satisfying work this year, and with very very few exceptions, everyone I've worked with has gotten dramatically better.  That's not something that can be taken for granted in mental health care, especially in only a year, and I am so grateful for the sense of satisfaction, efficacy, and hope my work this year has given me.

That being said, being so busy has severely impacted my ability to function as highly as I am accustomed to.  Especially during the last month, it has reduced my ability to think and plan things outside of work to something like this:

I know I'm mixing my show metaphors.  DEAL WITH IT.

...which, unsurprisingly, led to the following precipitous decline in my attitude:

Replace "season" with "trimester of the past year"
and yep, you've pretty much got it.
Except I never had a cool hat.

Basically, it's been a tough year.

Maybe it seems silly and counter-productive for me to give myself a hard time about not adhering to an arbitrary expectation I set for myself however long ago, especially when I have so many other things to worry about and several exceedingly large demands on my time.  I guess it is a bit silly, since I'm in essence finding another thing to be hard on myself about.

The thing is, one of the biggest reasons I started writing this blog was to keep on myself about my own self-care.  I love writing for fun, and if I don't make a point to do it regularly, I basically only write for work.  I've kept my 52 movies/year goal because I love movies, and it's a way to keep a little extra joy in my life.  If I don't make time to watch movies because I don't have time and don't write blog posts because I don't have time, a major component of my system of self-care has seriously fallen apart.

That really sucks.

The good thing is, in spite of my feeling that work would NEVER BE OVER, it is.  It is!  And now I get a break of almost two entire months before I start internship, and after that, I will be done in the biggest way ever: I will be done with graduate school.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Oh what a relief.

As the fatigue wears off, an immense wealth of excitement is building in my heart.  This summer, I'm going to watch SO MANY MOVIES.  I will sleep in SO MANY DAYS.  I will write SO MANY THINGS.  AND I now have some very delightful things to plan.

Looking forward to sharing that with all of you.

{Heart}

"Oblivion": A Hilarity Guide

Greetings dear readers.

I clearly need to get myself together before April's gone and write a post.  I'm surprised at how quickly this month has come and gone.  It's speediness is illustrated in my dismal movie-watching productivity during the last four weeks.  I have no idea how this is possible, but I've only watched one movie this month.

One.

Okay so I do have some theories about how this happened.

1. We discovered Downton.

You can't seriously expect me to resist that.

2. Boyfriend and I recently ended a six-week streak of having friends visit or otherwise not being both at home at the same time on the weekends.  In other words, we've been insanely busy during what is normally movie-watching time.

3. Almost impossibly, I somehow seem to be *more* busy now than I was even a few weeks ago.  Much to my displeasure, I recently realized there is not one day during the week on which I get home before 7 pm--and most days it's much later.  That shit is getting old, and not just because it totally precludes any mid-week movie watching.

So while my poor showing this month has a perfectly reasonable series of explanations, I am nevertheless displeased.  Possibly because the one movie I watched was "Oblivion" (2013).

I can hear your judgement all the way over here.

Yeah I'm not so proud of that.

I'm even less proud of the fact that I was totally pumped to see this movie.

"Why, WHY??" you might reasonably ask.

Well the answer is that, as a mere psychologist-in-training, I just can't claim to fully understand the nuance and mystery of the human psyche.  Also sometimes I really like junk food movies, okay?  I know Tom Cruise is an anti-useful medication couch-jumping Scientologist douchebag, and I know the movie received an abysmal splat on Rotten Tomatoes.  The trailer isn't even that great (and we know how vulnerable I am to a good sci-fi trailer).  But something about that movie really enticed me.

Lucky for me, it also enticed Boyfriend.  So last week, we made a date of it.

The movie is pretty awful, but not altogether unwatchable.  I've given it a 3.  But to enhance your viewing experience, should you choose to partake, we've developed the following viewer's guide so you can really wring your money's worth out of this crappy film by laughing your ass off at the abundant ridiculousness that is "Oblivion."

I present to you:

The PsychoCinematic Hilarity Guide to "Oblivion"

I. The makers of "Oblivion" blatantly rip off the following classic science fiction movies:

"The Matrix" (1999)

"The Matrix."

Disclaimer: This is art from the "Oblivion" comic, but still.  COMPLETELY THE SAME.

"Independence Day" (1996)

"Independence Day"

Feel a bit familiar?

Even (the arguably not at all classic) "Star Wars Episode I" (1999)

Good Christ what an awful movie.

Don't be confused by the gray palette--this chase/race felt very similar.

II. Speaking of pod races, get ready for a lot of close-ups of Tom Cruise variably trying to look badass and looking like he needs a bathroom with a high degree of urgency:

Gotta go gotta go gotta go RIGHT NOW.

III. We are supposedly 60 years post-worldwide atomic bombing holocaust.  The half-life of some components of nuclear fallout is 24,000 years.  Wondering how to suit up for a stroll outside?

Leathers and a baseball cap will surely suffice.

"Golly the radioactivity is brisk today!"

IV. While we're on the topic of post-apocalyptic fashion, clearly if you are the only lady left on the planet and you are tasked with ensuring the survival of humanity, you would dress like this:

With nary a fake eyelash out of place:

After all, yes you've got some serious shit to do, but that doesn't mean a girl can't take some time to look her best!

"I know we'll die out as a species if we don't stay focused on our mission,
but seriously, does my eye liner look okay?"

V. In case you were wanting to pick up some tips for piloting small aircraft in the investigation of a crashed unknown projectile from outer space, clearly the best spot to set down is:

IN the crash site.

VI. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is in this movie, 

but is not the hero.

Fail.

Now, while I'm still (just) under the wire for getting a post written for April, I'll close with an "Oblivion" hilarity scavenger hunt:

1. Spot the totally random placement of the Statue of Liberty torch!

2. Spot the almost verbatim repetition of the introduction to the movie, in case you got so bored you forgot the premise!

3. Spot the future-Bactine!

Clearly they have not yet mastered sting-free
disinfection in the future.

4. Spot the highly unlikely years-long survival alone while with an infant!

5. Spot the Cruise-on-Cruise fight scene!

See you soon!

{Heart}

TYSG: Self-Care Playlist Edition

Well hello stranger,

Yes, I'm on a post-writing roll!!

Among the way-too-multitudinous aspirations I have for my little blog are to write more frequent TYSG mini-posts.  Since I've already spent a decent chunk of the evening forcing myself to just write a goddamned post I've been thinking about writing for weeks JUST WRITE IT GAHHH, why not take a few extra minutes to share a pick-me-up song I've been thinking about posting for...

....uh.....

...months?

I don't really know what the hold-up has been, because seriously this song is so wonderful.  I discovered Jana Mashonee when she was a guest on one of my favorite NPR shows.  They played this song as the outro to her interview, and holy crap this woman has a voice.

If you are so truly squished for time that you can't even spare the four minutes necessary to listen to this song in its entirety, a) I'm sorry to hear that because that feeling sucks and b) you're in luck, because you can just skip to 3:00 and listen from there and just TRY feeling unhappy.

JUST TRY.

{Heart}

In Grad School, It's Always Important to Look for the "Silver Linings Playbook"

Dearests,

It's been about a month since I last checked in, in part because things have stayed relatively busy, but also because I've been contemplating the subject of my present post.

Happily, although the majority of the busy-ness has remained grad school-related, an ever-growing proportion of the busy has been self-care-y and fun things.  I have continued my commitment to go to a museum a week (museums visited in 2013: 9).  That practice alone has been instrumental in improving my overall life-enjoyment and sense of well-roundedness (which, as we know from rule #3, is critical to not going completely batty), both because of the exposure to cultural and educational richness and because it's successfully helped me engage in regular picture-taking.

Other self-care anecdotes:

1. By happy coincidence, my membership to my very most favorite local museum expired mere days after Match Day, meaning I could renew knowing that I would be here to enjoy it for at least the next year.  Given the way that timing worked out, I didn't even have to let my membership lapse.

Membership cards past and present: three years of awesome.

2. In spite of having a much more reasonable commute this year compared to last year, I've managed not only to continue a decent amount of leisure reading but also to restart my Murakami habit.  I was initially pretty intimidated by his most recent and most massive opus, "1Q84," but then my brother indulged me by getting it for me (in much more subway-friendly three-part paperback form) and I just couldn't resist it anymore.  I'm so enjoying it.  It's brilliant.

Mmmm.

So those small but nonetheless significant personal victories aside, as I mentioned, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my plot for my latest post.  I want to write about a movie that's received a lot of acclaim, not least of which being a best actress Oscar for the delightful Jennifer Lawrence.  While the accolades seem well-deserved, I'm nevertheless still squirming a bit because of my reaction to the film.

I am of course referring to "Silver Linings Playbook" (2012).

I have to proceed carefully, since my delay in writing this post stems largely from my difficulty in organizing and articulating my feelings about this movie.  I suppose I'll start with the pros:

1. It is immensely well-acted.  There are moments of emotional rawness that feel so real they're hard to watch.  When Pat (played by Bradley Cooper) spirals into a paranoid and freaked-out panic because he can't find the wedding video chronicling his entry into his doomed marriage and his parents leap into the fray, I cringed at the realness of the ensuing chaos.  Pat Sr. (played by Robert De Niro) conveys the painful tightly-woundededness of someone with barely manageable lifelong OCD very convincingly.  Dolores (played by Jacki Weaver) vibrates with the nervousness and desperate positivity found only in the matrons of powder keg families such as hers.  Last but not least, Tiffany (played by Jennifer Lawrence) utterly losing her shit in a diner is, on the other hand, so deliciously unhinged it's mesmerizing.

2. It is a reasonably comprehensive snapshot of what mental health care can look like for the chronically and seriously ill.  There are revolving door hospitalizations.  There are legal and professional ramifications that can be difficult or impossible to erase.  There is the need for a lifetime commitment to care (and often to medication) and the simultaneous yearning, at times anxious and sad and at times frenzied and grandiose, to not need it.

3. It is a compassionate portrayal not just of the experience of the mentally ill, but of a mentally ill person who has some serious semblance of how to manage his care and his needs well.  Pat tries to give himself a schedule and take care of his physical health.  He gradually accepts that medication must play an everyday role in his life.  He attempts to maintain a positive outlook by looking for the glimmer of meaning and hope even in the darkest of his life's chapters.  He takes responsibility for his illness and its safe, effective management, both for his own good and the good of those around him.

That this is a compassionate illustration of the life of a seriously mentally ill person is very important.  The stigma of mental illness can be punishing and devastating, keeping afflicted people from achieving their full potential and from being more than just a diagnosis.  This story is important because it shows how even someone with a significant and at times dangerous disorder can be more than simply a walking time bomb.  He can forge and maintain relationships, he can have a good heart, he can set goals and attain them, he can start over again and again and retain the optimism and wherewithal to truly do better than he has done before.

Not only does this film help the mentally healthy to be more understanding and empathic toward the plight of the ill, but it also provides hope and modeling for those who suffer with illness of mind.  We, all of us, need this story and others like it.  Who among us would want the most difficult thing about us to define us entirely?

4. Also the soundtrack is pretty great.

Now for the cons, or rather, the con:

I'm really disappointed with the portrayal of Pat's wife Nikki (played by Brea Bee).

Spoiler alert, Pat's most recent hospitalization was precipitated by his beating nearly to death of his wife's lover after discovering the pair mid-affair.  He flew into such a manic, homicidal rage that he nearly pummeled someone to death.  We don't get to see Nikki's horror as this unfolds before her or how the remnants of this trauma play out in her mind.  Lost, of course, to the narrative is anything about her experience of her marriage to someone who was cycling through the peaks and valleys of unmitigated bipolar disorder.  We don't know what drove her to infidelity.  What we do know is that during the brief moments we see her, she appears cool and controlled to the point of being calculating and unfeeling.  We know that she refuses to speak to Pat, and that she's taken out a restraining order against our plucky hero.  We know that Pat's insatiable desire is to put his life back together, and that the only thing that seems to be standing in his way is his apparently resolute and heartless wife.

I don't buy that Nikki has to be a frigid robot ice queen for us to have some sympathy for Pat.  I certainly don't buy that Nikki deserves so small and two-dimensional a place in this story.  If Pat is a victim of his illness, then for godsakes, isn't she as well?

Notice who's missing?

What I am deeply unsettled by is the casting of these two characters in opposing roles competing for our affection.  I don't understand why this is the kind of story in which we must choose sides.  If the audience can be trusted to understand that Pat is more than just what makes him sick, that he is a whole and complex person who is worthy of love, forgiveness, and respect even when he has made horrible mistakes, why can't we be trusted to have the same love, forgiveness, and respect for Nikki?  Why is this a battle in which one person must win and the other person must lose?

I wonder, sadly, if this narrative were somehow reversed, if we would love and cheer for the female Pat quite so much.  I wonder why it's so easy to forgive Pat the man for what he's done but to write off Nikki the woman for her mistake.  Surely we can agree that almost killing someone is worse than cheating, even if both offenses are deeply wrong.  So why is Nikki's pain and struggle so easy to overlook?  What these narrative choices seem to tell me is that we differentially weigh feminine and masculine suffering, to the extent that we are willing to forget the former even exists.

Taking a step back from how sad that makes me, on a more superficial level I'm also sad because a more even and equal story would have been so much more interesting, challenging, and beneficial for all concerned.  I bet we could still love and forgive Pat even while spending more time with Nikki.  I bet we could tolerate their complexity and pain together and care for them both.

Too bad we weren't given the chance.

So in spite of the many things I liked and appreciated about this movie, they weren't enough to totally trump this oversight.  I gave "Silver Linings Playbook" a 4.5.

With that, time for other things.

{Heart}