Here's to You, Mr. Potter

Hey kiddos!

It’s twisted, I know, but now that the new semester is starting, I finally feel like I can begin to relax.

My testing report is done.  Feedback is scheduled.  My externship applications are mailed and emailed.  That horrendous paper is finally finished (packed with APA style guide* errors which will assuredly drag down my grade, but I just can’t manage to care).  And it’s official: I have a thesis data set.  Almost 40 whole articles made the cut!  I haven’t chosen a statistical program yet, but that’s a task for another day.  Apparently.

About externships: I already have two interviews!  I don’t plan to run my mouth about it to my classmates (unless I’m asked, I guess), so I’ll share it here, instead.  I’m excited. :)

In spite of being in near-constant panic-mode for the last two months, boyfriend and I ultimately managed to carve out a couple of much-needed fun times over my winter “break”.  Perhaps our best fun time involved going ice skating in one of my favorite parts of our fair city.  It’s something we’d been wanting to do for over a year, and finally we decided it was time to just make it happen, school work be damned.  It was wonderful... even more so than I anticipated.

Good times!

And WHO could resist those stylish skates??

As of the last three weeks or so, boyfriend has ALSO succeeded in convincing me to watch Harry Potter movies, adding to the long list of his notable personal victories.  And I actually really... really... like them.

Up until a few weeks ago, out of an annoying hipsterly resistance to anything overly popular, I had completely avoided all things Boy Wizard.  I was a little too old for the books when they first came out (though I did read one chapter of one of them to a girl I babysat for, only to have her correct my pronunciation of Hermione’s name).  I saw the first movie in theaters and hated it.  I have many friends whose opinions I normally respect who are devoted to these stories, and whose protestations that Ms. Rowling’s work was worthwhile I stalwartly, stubbornly ignored.  I just couldn’t get over my elitist too-many-people-like-this gag reflex.

Until now.

Okay, I was wrong!!  Fine fine FINE!!!  The movies are really actually pretty... wonderful.  I was intrigued by the revelations about Voldemort’s origins in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), and completely won over by Alfonso Cuarón’s odd, dark humor in Harry Potter and the Prisoner Azkaban (2004).  I was pushed to the brink of tears by the death of a classmate in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) (Spoiler alert: Robert Pattinson is vindicated... apparently?), and finally succumbed during Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) when we watched it two nights ago.  I am unabashedly converted.

What did it?  Again, spoiler alert: During the climactic fight scene in the Ministry of Magic’s Department of Mysteries, as Sirius and Harry fight side-by-side against Voldemort’s Death Eaters, Sirius calls out to Harry, “Well done, James!”, momentarily mistaking the boy for his dead best friend and Harry’s father.  It broke my heart.

Even if I now have to swallow my pride and turn in my hipster card, as a result of watching these movies (with some other non-HP features thrown in), I am happy to say I’m well above quota for my 2011 movie-watching resolution.  And I’ve experienced the first of what I’m sure will be many learning experiences in the coming year (movie-related and otherwise): Hipsters aren’t always right.  Even when they’re me.

Now I just have to find the time to read seven 800-page books.

Happy New Semester!

<3

* A brief note on the APA style guide: In my opinion, anyone who really thinks you can only use the word “since” to refer to stuff happening after a particular event or time period and not ALSO to convey logical links between concepts seriously needs to be poked with something sharp.

To clarify, according to the APA style guide:

This roaring headache has plagued every moment of my life SINCE I started writing this paper.
....is CORRECT.

SINCE they are both stupid, this assignment and the infernal APA style guide make me angry.
...is INCORRECT.

Don’t even get me started on which numbers need to be spelled out and which need to be written as numerals.  It completely makes my head swim.

Thank GOD I'm done with that paper.

Not-So-MiniPost: 2011 Resolutions

Hi guys.

Before we get too far into this new year, I thought it worthwhile to officially state my resolutions somewhere.  Given the origins of this blog, this seemed like the best venue.

THEY ARE:
1. Call/see family and friends more often
2. Finish thesis by 2012
3. Continue meditating daily

And, obvi:
4. Continue 52 movies/year goal

The breakdown:
1. There are a lot of people on this planet I love.  I don't talk to them enough.  This really became clear to me while in Viet Nam on a school-sponsored excursion this past summer.  The classmate I shared a hotel room with talked to her family multiple times a day, despite being halfway around the world.  I talked to my mom twice during the entire two week trip.  This struck me as stupid.  If some families can swing talking to each other every day no matter what, I can talk to people I love more than once every few weeks.

This resolution is partly due to pure selfishness.  I know it'll make me happier if I talk to the people who make me happy about humanity and life in general more often.  I avoid calling people out of stress, since talking on the phone is one of very few activities that inhibit my furious multi-tasking.  Again: stupid.  Talking to people I like makes me less stressed.  So let's do that more often.

But also: I was listening to the latest podcast of This American Life yesterday.  Part one is about a man who visits his friend after a suicide attempt in a bid to talk him into living.  It reminded me of how many people I desperately love, whose lives I am grateful for, and whose loss I could never come to terms with.  It made me hungry for the chance to tell each of them I want them here in this life with me.  Some people I love very much have been affected by suicide recently, or have thought about or attempted suicide in the past.  Out of a more community-focused/nationwide concern, one of Boyfriend's Christmas presents from me this year was a shirt that constituted a donation to the saintly Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project, whose aim is to end the sudden tragic onslaught of young gay people ending their lives this past year.  And as a mental health professional responsible for keeping people safe from things like self-harm, maybe I'm just unusually primed to be struck by the aims of the man in that TAL story.  In any event, perhaps morbidly, I want to talk to the people I love more often, to make sure they know how beautiful and hopeful my life is because of them, and to make sure they know how immeasurably valuable they are.  Even if those dark thoughts never crossed their minds, it just can't hurt.

2. The ambition of this resolution is so terrifying I'm just going to skip it.  But it's made.

3. For a few years now I've been waiting for the breakthrough I needed to finally get into a true meditative discipline.  This summer, during a trip to visit a family friend, it finally came.  All that friend had to do was give me permission to sit for only two minutes a day, and my sitter's block evaporated.  I've sat (almost) every morning since then--and typically longer than two minutes.  Sometimes you just need to let yourself start small.

4.  Like I said: obvi.

Resolutions aside: chugging along, as always.  Thesis data stuff is painfully slow, but progress is being made.  My testing report is just about complete, which is a huge relief.  My testing supervisor wrote me an absolutely lovely recommendation for my externship applications, of which I'm deeply appreciative.  And that last paper I have to write will get done sometime... I guess.

Back to work.  Once again, Happy New Year!

It's going to be a good one.

<3

PS: Because it never hurts to make sure people know what their resources are:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
800 273 TALK

The Trevor Project
www.thetrevorproject.org
866 488 7386

2010 Movie Round-Up!!

Joyeux Nouvel An!

2011 is upon is!  To close what has been a busy and eventful 2010, I present to you the final list of all the movies I've seen in the past year.  I am proud to announce that I am in excess of my 52 movies per year goal by almost TEN WHOLE MOVIES.

Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about that.  Armed with new resolve to continue my standing resolution AND a new membership at the Museum of the Moving Image (an AWESOME Christmas present care of my wonderful aunt and uncle), I'm confident my cinephilic zeal will carry over into 2011.  I'm excited to see what movies the new year has to offer.

Aren't you?

And now: THE LIST

1. Fantastic Mr. Fox (3)
2. Up in the Air (4)
3. Year One (1)
4. Duplicity (1)
5. Bonnie and Clyde (5)
6. 12 Angry Men (4)
7. This Is It (4)
8. Shutter Island (4)
9. Wolfman (1)
10. Alice in Wonderland (1)
11. The Hurt Locker (4.5)
12. Remember Me (0)
13. Bean (3)
14. The King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters (4)
15. Kick-Ass (5)
16. The Tenant (3)
17. Shine (3)
18. Agua Fria de Mar (3.5)
19. Beijing Taxi (3)
20. Dogtooth (3)
21. Twilight: New Moon (1)
22. The Blindside (4)
23. Brothers (4)
24. Extraordinary Measures (1)
25. Surrogates (1)
26. La Vie et la passion de Jésus Christ. 1902. Silent. (3)
27. The Automobile Thieves (incomplete). 1906. Silent. (3)
28. At the Crossroads of Life. 1908. Silent. (4)
29. Old Isaacs, the Pawnbroker. 1908. Silent. (4)
30. The Jacket (2)
31. Obsessed (1)
32. Blindness (4)
33. Please Give (4)
34. Toy Story 3 (5)
35. Orphan (4)
36. Changeling (5)
37. Despicable Me (4)
38. Jindabyne (3.5)
39. The Sorcerer's Apprentice (1)
40. The Kids are All Right (4)
41. Zombieland (4.5)
42. The Devil Wears Prada (2)
43. Eat Pray Love (3)
44. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (4)
45. Enchanted (3)
46. Last Train Home (4)
47. Frozen River (3)
48. Tibet in Song (5)
49. Jaws (3)
50. Catfish (4)
51. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (3)
52. For Colored Girls (4)
53. Due Date (3)
54. Megamind (3)
55. Single White Female (2)
56. Boys Don't Cry (4)
57. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (3)
58. Tron Legacy (3)
59. The Invention of Lying (3.5)
60. True Grit (4)
61. Black Swan (4.5)

The highlights: Bonnie and Clyde (1967), the Hurt Locker (2008), Toy Story 3 (2010), Changeling (2008), Zombieland (2009), Tibet in Song (2009), and the out-in-theaters-now Black Swan (2010).

The lowlights, which I cringe even now to remember: Year One (2009), Duplicity (2009), Wolfman (2010), Alice in Wonderland (2010), Remember Me (2010), Twilight: New Moon (2009), Extraordinary Measures (2010), Surrogates (2009), Obsessed (2009), and The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010).

Best Movie Seen This Year: Changeling
This is a really tough decision, but this was such a riveting movie, and my impression is that it's under-viewed.  So go see it!

Worst Movie Seen This Year: Remember Me
A very easy decision by comparison.  Good holy God was that a terrible movie.  I'm still angry I didn't ask for my money back, and that's not something I do lightly.

Also, rough year for Robert Pattinson if my ratings are any gauge.

With that, Boyfriend and I have some food shopping to do in preparation for our New Year's Eve celebratory plans.  Have a safe and happy night tonight, and a wonderful New Year!

Onward and upward!

<3

Conference #2: Are You Going to San Francisco? ...Because If You Are, I Have a Poster to Show You

Since I failed to extend them in my last post: Belated Season's Greetings!

So I'm back at the where-I-live-now home, in the great snowy North.  My flight was punctual if my baggage retrieval wasn't, and now I'm snuggled in with my beloved kittens.  Boyfriend makes four, and he's home tomorrow!

I was asked many, many times while at the where-I-grew-up home whether I was aware of the somewhat dire weather conditions striking my dear adopted city, seemingly being expected to wring my hands and swoon at the thought: SNOW in DECEMBER?!?!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE???

I (perhaps snidely) responded to these somewhat fear-mongering inquiries by saying: "Most places, it snows during the winter.  We can handle it."

Now, after a few short days of digging out, it appears my fair city isn't too much worse for wear.  Though I will say I appreciated my luck in cab drivers on the way home tonight.  The car bucked and bounded down my still-not-fully-plowed little street, but the driver negotiated it masterfully.  And then the gentleman helped hoist my too-heavy bag over the considerable snow bank barricading in helpless cars parked along the side of the street.  Definitely not something I'd ever have to deal with where I grew up, but the novelty hasn't worn off yet.  In fact, real winters are part of what I love so much about being here.

And with that: A little montage of my extracurricular touristing from Conference #2, in beautiful San Francisco!

The architecture is pretty divine.

This guy was singing opera on some random street.

Approaching the piers.

I've always loved photographing flying birds.

Later, we decided to take a little boat tour around the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz...

At first the weather was beautiful, if a bit chilly.

We chugged along on our little boat... I decided I liked this buoy...

We slid under the bridge...

...looped around it...

...and took some touristy pictures...

It really was a stunning day.

Almost perfect, really.

But then: HOLY SHIT what happened?!  We are on the ocean and suddenly the sky looks black.  We may die.

And yet everything looks so peaceful on Alcatraz (irony?)...

Peaceful enough that I could appreciate this morbidly amusing sign (click to enlarge).

But the birds knew better.  They were hauling ass away from the ocean.

But still: beautiful.

That boat ride was pretty awesome, but also a little scary near the end there.  It started raining right as we got off the boat, and it didn't stop pouring for the rest of the night.  Good timing on our parts!

It was a good trip.

So in spite of still being wholly exhausted, I'm feeling less panicky about my work.  I had a nice, helpful chat with my testing supervisor today, and got his edits for the testing report I'm writing.  He didn't make too many changes, which felt good given that it's my first attempt.  On the plane, I completed the report's second draft and worked a little more on my CV for externship applications.  With all the crap I've done since applying to grad school, it's doubled in length--also a nice little ego boost (see, I've actually ACCOMPLISHED stuff!).  Finally, I worked a tiny bit on my thesis data stuff.  A productive day all around.

The sad thing is, I've had the worst attitude for the last few weeks.  That always happens around midterms and finals, but because finals spilled over into the holidays, this has been a particularly difficult patch.  I've had a lot of "Well, at least I only have three and a half more years of this" thoughts... And if that's the best consolation you can offer yourself, that's pretty depressing. 

The truth of the matter is that I know grad school is going to get more and more demanding over the next few years, and that kind of scares me.  I like my boyfriend and my cats, my family and friends, my city and, well... my LIFE.  It's hard to enjoy all of those things when I feel like my head is spinning, which it has been full tilt for weeks now.  I'm worried that's how things are going to be more and more as I get farther into my program, and I'm not completely sure how to weather that without becoming a shrieking banshee all the time.  I don't want to be a shrieking banshee.  I want to figure out a way to endure this process with grace and hopefully a little enjoyment.  A clear path to that state of being just hasn't fully emerged yet.

In any event, I'm probably awfulizing.  No one would do this if it were really that awful.  Right?

.......Right??

But all that said, still: I got some good things done today.  I feel renewed confidence in my ability to do this work.  I really needed that.  I still have a few weeks to finish the big, scary things still looming.  As always, things will probably turn out just fine.

Dare to dream.

It is so, so late.  Bedtime!

<3

Conference #1: Seattle May or May Not Be the Subject of This Post

Hello loves.

I recently discovered that including pictures in blog posts is really fun (even when they're not my own, though it's much more fun when they are).  In that spirit, and because I'm too mentally exhausted to craft a proper post, I've decided to provide a little travelogue of my aforementioned conference attendances.

To start: Conference #1.  Guess the supremely obvious Northwestern location!

It may or may not have a very famous marketplace and generally overcast climate...

Said marketplace may or may not have a big fluorescent "Lower Floor" arrow with which I am in love...

The marketplace also may or may not be staffed by friendly people eager to hand out delicious apple samples (like this guy)...

This theater entrance may or may not be covered in chewed gum...

The mass of gum may or may not have smelled overwhelmingly and deliciously fruity, in spite of being disgusting to behold...

This peace sign may or may not have been spray-painted upside-down...

I may or may not have seen these little robot men throughout this mystery city...

I may or may not be sick of this "may or may not" convention I'm beating into the ground...

I may or may not be able to sustain the sense of mystery much longer, since there are only so many cities where people famously throw fish around...

You may or may not have guessed that the mystery city is...

Seattle!!  (Hurrayyyy no more "may or may nots"!  Oh wait...)

Molly Moon's honey lavender ice cream may or may not be to die for. (Hint: It most certainly may!)

Do you love this "Lower Floor" arrow as much as I do?  You may or may not.

...Is it apparent I'm really tired yet?

Suffice it to say, in spite of being delighted to spend the Christmas holiday at the where-I-grew-up home, finals never really came to an end for me this semester.  I've been working on the assessment report for my testing client, figuring out which externships I'm applying to, finishing up data stuff for my thesis, and thinking about finishing the paper that's due before spring classes start up mid-January (only at the thinking about stage on that last one... I can only handle so much at once).

I'm very very tired. 

More than anything, I would love to have just one day where I didn't have to think about grad school (let alone do grad school-related work).  We'll see if I manage to snag one of those days before the minute winter break I have disappears.

Up next: Pictures from Conference #2, the final list of movies I've seen in 2010, and if we're really super lucky, one last end-of-year review!

'Til then.

<3