Conference #2: Are You Going to San Francisco? ...Because If You Are, I Have a Poster to Show You

Since I failed to extend them in my last post: Belated Season's Greetings!

So I'm back at the where-I-live-now home, in the great snowy North.  My flight was punctual if my baggage retrieval wasn't, and now I'm snuggled in with my beloved kittens.  Boyfriend makes four, and he's home tomorrow!

I was asked many, many times while at the where-I-grew-up home whether I was aware of the somewhat dire weather conditions striking my dear adopted city, seemingly being expected to wring my hands and swoon at the thought: SNOW in DECEMBER?!?!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE???

I (perhaps snidely) responded to these somewhat fear-mongering inquiries by saying: "Most places, it snows during the winter.  We can handle it."

Now, after a few short days of digging out, it appears my fair city isn't too much worse for wear.  Though I will say I appreciated my luck in cab drivers on the way home tonight.  The car bucked and bounded down my still-not-fully-plowed little street, but the driver negotiated it masterfully.  And then the gentleman helped hoist my too-heavy bag over the considerable snow bank barricading in helpless cars parked along the side of the street.  Definitely not something I'd ever have to deal with where I grew up, but the novelty hasn't worn off yet.  In fact, real winters are part of what I love so much about being here.

And with that: A little montage of my extracurricular touristing from Conference #2, in beautiful San Francisco!

The architecture is pretty divine.

This guy was singing opera on some random street.

Approaching the piers.

I've always loved photographing flying birds.

Later, we decided to take a little boat tour around the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz...

At first the weather was beautiful, if a bit chilly.

We chugged along on our little boat... I decided I liked this buoy...

We slid under the bridge...

...looped around it...

...and took some touristy pictures...

It really was a stunning day.

Almost perfect, really.

But then: HOLY SHIT what happened?!  We are on the ocean and suddenly the sky looks black.  We may die.

And yet everything looks so peaceful on Alcatraz (irony?)...

Peaceful enough that I could appreciate this morbidly amusing sign (click to enlarge).

But the birds knew better.  They were hauling ass away from the ocean.

But still: beautiful.

That boat ride was pretty awesome, but also a little scary near the end there.  It started raining right as we got off the boat, and it didn't stop pouring for the rest of the night.  Good timing on our parts!

It was a good trip.

So in spite of still being wholly exhausted, I'm feeling less panicky about my work.  I had a nice, helpful chat with my testing supervisor today, and got his edits for the testing report I'm writing.  He didn't make too many changes, which felt good given that it's my first attempt.  On the plane, I completed the report's second draft and worked a little more on my CV for externship applications.  With all the crap I've done since applying to grad school, it's doubled in length--also a nice little ego boost (see, I've actually ACCOMPLISHED stuff!).  Finally, I worked a tiny bit on my thesis data stuff.  A productive day all around.

The sad thing is, I've had the worst attitude for the last few weeks.  That always happens around midterms and finals, but because finals spilled over into the holidays, this has been a particularly difficult patch.  I've had a lot of "Well, at least I only have three and a half more years of this" thoughts... And if that's the best consolation you can offer yourself, that's pretty depressing. 

The truth of the matter is that I know grad school is going to get more and more demanding over the next few years, and that kind of scares me.  I like my boyfriend and my cats, my family and friends, my city and, well... my LIFE.  It's hard to enjoy all of those things when I feel like my head is spinning, which it has been full tilt for weeks now.  I'm worried that's how things are going to be more and more as I get farther into my program, and I'm not completely sure how to weather that without becoming a shrieking banshee all the time.  I don't want to be a shrieking banshee.  I want to figure out a way to endure this process with grace and hopefully a little enjoyment.  A clear path to that state of being just hasn't fully emerged yet.

In any event, I'm probably awfulizing.  No one would do this if it were really that awful.  Right?

.......Right??

But all that said, still: I got some good things done today.  I feel renewed confidence in my ability to do this work.  I really needed that.  I still have a few weeks to finish the big, scary things still looming.  As always, things will probably turn out just fine.

Dare to dream.

It is so, so late.  Bedtime!

<3