Year In Review: Ever Forward Edition

Happy Almost New Year, Friends!

In preparing to write a reflection on a year as it comes to a close, I have often looked back at the photos I've taken.  In doing this, I get to watch how the emotions I have while looking back on a year can contradict and resonate with the things I found noteworthy enough over the course of the last twelve months that I photographed them.

Emotionally, this year was a slog.  The path from the beginning of the year to now included coming to the end of the process of trying my best to create a life that worked for me in our Previous City, determining that was not possible, then creating and embarking upon the path that led us to our New Home.  I am so grateful to be here, where I can finally deeply root myself.  I am still adjusting to the beautiful shock of: this really is my life now.  It is so good that this change came into fruition, and it was not easy making it happen.  I'm still releasing the tension and strain that this change required, as well as the sadness and frustration that are a natural consequence of trying to make myself grow in unyielding soil.

Then, in looking back at the year in photos, there are so many glowing things that happened this year.  They signal little oases, desperately needed respites in a long journey.  They remind me that along the way, there were many little eddies in the stream where I could take a breath.  For annoying technical reasons those photos aren't currently available for me to share, so you'll have to take my word for it that there is pictorial evidence these things occurred.

Abundant Demonstrations

It was extremely important to me to stay involved in demonstrating this year.  Each time it was deeply invigorating and hope-instilling.  Sadly, as last year, there were many things to show up for, including common sense firearms policy and not forcibly separating children from their parents as families seek asylum.

Great Art

My visits to museums stand out very clearly in my memory this year as nourishing and transporting yet anchoring little vacations.  I'm so grateful for the artistic and cultural institutions in this nation across several cities, including this one, this one, this one, and of course this one.

I am also grateful to now live in a city with a vibrant commitment to public art.

Vacations to Beautiful Places with Wonderful People

I have this false narrative in my mind that, because of the stress and expense of moving and changing jobs, I did not do as much traveling this year as I normally would.  This makes me sad.  However, this isn't wholly true--those travels just happened over the course of long weekends or just weekends to driveable places, as well as the occasional farther-flung trip for a wedding.  I'm hoping that Husband and I will get to take a just-us trip somewhere far away in the new year, but in the meantime we did just fine with lots of shorter trips to excellent places in 2018.

New Babies, New Marriages, and Adoptions

Some wonderful new people came into the world this year, and we were happy to celebrate the marriages of some very dear friends and family members.  We were also very lucky to make the acquaintance of a sweet little bird before we left Previous City.

I am also so thankful for our loving and extraordinarily handsome cats.  We will take a brief break from our photo hiatus to share proof of their beauty:

Excellent Food Eaten and Made

Yeah we did really well on this front.  We visited some amazing restaurants and made some incredible meals at home, including recent feasts of local seafood.

Building the Life I Want

And here I am, in my Home.  Thank goodness for places that feel like home, and for bright lights to guide us there through the darkness.

Here's to an ever brighter 2019, dear friends.  Happy New Year!

{Heart}

Operating on the "Border" Between Being Happy and Unhappy I Saw This Movie

Hi everyone!

Before 2018 ends, I'm hoping to sneak in a few quick posts to satisfy one of my lingering and as-yet-unfulfilled resolutions for this year.

Commence!

I recently saw "Border" (2018; Swedish title "Gräns"), and I'd like to tell you about it.

I was drawn to "Border" because: 

a) it's a Swedish film and I like those, and
b) it looked like a weird movie and I like those, and
c) it had very good ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, and finally
d) it was showing at one of my very favorite movie theaters in New Home and I hadn't gotten to go there since we moved, so obviously that was an emergency that needed to be immediately resolved.

Having now seen the movie, I can attest that it satisfies on these counts: it is a Swedish movie, it was at one of my favorite theaters, and I can see why it got positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes because it is definitely very weird.

At the end of the film, I had a feeling very similar to how I felt at the conclusion of "Sorry to Bother You" (2018): I am glad I saw "Border" and I'm glad it was made, but I also felt decidedly unsettled and like I needed a mental palette cleanser before heading to bed.

I do think it's worthwhile to see this movie.  Without getting too deep into spoilers (but still: spoilers alert), like "Sorry to Bother You," "Border" is its own version of a societal commentary told through reality blended with fantasy.  As a person with Swedish heritage, I was particularly interested in the utilization of Swedish folklore to construct the film's commentary, and embarked on a deep Wikipedia dive to follow up on some of the topics touched upon.  Had "Border" dwelt solely on these themes, it could have been a still-unsettling but really thought-provoking exploration of histories of attempted extermination of native peoples that would have powerful echoes in American and global audiences.  However, the film veers somewhat tangentially into ever darker territory, unfortunately muddying the waters of an already sufficiently interesting allegory.

So, while I recommend this movie, I don't think I can give it as high a rating as "Sorry to Bother You," which was excitingly weird and inventive and still managed to stick to its important central themes. 

I gave "Border" a 3.5.

{Heart}

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! 2018 Edition

Hi friends,

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful food-based, family-and-friend-filled holiday last week!

Because at this late hour I am pushing my luck if I am to adhere to my goal of writing at least one post per month and, unlike last year, I don't have a ton of inspiration to draw upon for coming up with a new approach to this year's post-Thanksgiving post, I'm going to fall back on my approach from years past: writing a little list of the things for which I am thankful this year.

This year, I am thankful for:

• Husband, who leapt with me into the next stage of our life in City Where We Met.

• Kittens.

• Baby birds who have no business surviving, yet do.

• Everything it took to move back to City Where We Met: 

• courage, vision, stubbornness, perseverance, patience, extremely hard work, independence, distress and frustration tolerance, and a good dose of Damn the Torpedoes,

• and also the privilege of a professional network of colleagues who will gladly vouch for me, new colleagues who warmly welcome me, family and friends who I easily reconnect with (and who help me find a beautiful new home), and all the invisible little legs up that I probably still do not fully appreciate that made it possible for me to just up and bolt to a city I ferociously love, where I have a fighting chance to thrive and simply be happy, because many people cannot do that for reasons they don't deserve and can't control.

• City Where We Met.  I recently heard someone say with complete conviction that this city is magic.  It is.  I wake up in the morning to look across the street at a tree-filled, creek-threaded park where I often watch deer graze.  I've eaten some of the most delicious meals of my life here.  One of the best museums in the world is here.  One of my favorite theaters in the world is here.  Husband and I have gone out to the movies on a Tuesday night, eaten a crab feast, bought locally-made art, gone to a farmer's market, discovered a brunch place with incredible pancakes and always an open table (!!!), taken walks around a beautiful lake just up the street, and explored two food markets, and we're not even close to done throwing ourselves into everything this city has to offer.  The morning after we moved here, I sat in our little backyard and finally felt like I could breathe.  It took me almost a decade, but I finally get to come home.

• Rich, vibrant, courageous anti-racism.  There are many ways in which our ill nation desperately needs healing, and this is one of the cures.  I am so grateful for all of the resources and people who have helped grow my ability to be an anti-racist ally (including by better understanding the dilemma of celebrating a holiday with a deeply problematic history), and so exhilarated by the opportunities I have to continue to grow.  I am particularly grateful for my family's willingness to have actual conversations with me about difficult topics, and for the modeling some of my family have given me in how to do be much better at these conversations.

• My family.

• My brilliant, joy-giving friends.

• Wonderful and fascinating books, shows, and of course, movies.

And, always:

• You, dear friends who read this humble blog.

I hope you all have many things for which to be thankful, in which to find meaning, and with which to fill your hearts.

{Heart}

A Halloween Sampler for All Souls: 2018 Edition!

Halloooooooooooooo!

Happy Halloween dear readers!  It's time for our annual review of creepy movies to enhance this season's fear factor!

As with all Halloween Samplers in our proud history, for today's post I will supplement our usual 1 - 5 rating scale with the additional bonus scary/intense rating system of 1 - 5 exclamation points thusly:

! = not at all scary 

!!!!! = so scary!

This year I have the somewhat unusual "problem" of having already written about several of the scary movies I would like to include in the Halloween round-up.  To compensate, I will divide up this year's movies by "New Movies" and "Old Movies," with the latter referring to films that have already been reviewed.

And with that: Commence!

"Old Movies"

"Lizzie" (2018)

Rating: 3 Scary Rating: !!

As I noted in last month's summary post, "Lizzie" seemed like a promising re-imagining of the historical ax murders.  Despite being steeped in a moodily tense atmosphere and enhanced by great performances, the movie simply didn't deliver high-intensity scares.

"A Quiet Place" (2018)

Rating: 4 Scary Rating: !!!!

Large plot holes aside, I really appreciate the creativity and genuine scare-factor of "A Quiet Place."  It offers a really interesting premise and doesn't rely on fake-out jump-scares, unnecessary gore, or any of the other tropes that rapidly diminish the esteem in which I hold a horror movie.

"Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" (2018)

Rating: 1 Scary Rating: !

This year's "Holy God I Hated This Movie" entry.  Holy God I hated this movie.  How, HOW did it make dinosaurs boring??  But more importantly, why??

"New Movies"*

* = Some of which are not actually new

"Annihilation" (2018)

Rating: 4 Scary Rating: !!!!!

"Annihilation" is a great new addition to the genre of space horror, although admittedly it is not set in outer space but instead portrays the consequences of outer space infiltrating Earth.  It is mind-bendy and unnerving on a level I haven't experienced in a while (well, with one exception), combining great special effects with a strong female-majority cast, helmed by Natalie Portman.  It climbs to a deeply creepy and unsettling climax that will leave you with a decidedly yucky feeling in your stomach.  So... if you're down for that, enjoy!

"The Innocents" (1961)

Rating: 4 Scary Rating: !!!

This year's classic entry!  Husband and I watched "The Innocents" (note: very different from 2016's excellent "The Innocents") while carving jack-o'-lanterns, and it was a perfect choice.  The movie's dark cinematography, set in a menacing over-sized manor, pleasingly reminded me of one of my favorite horror movies.  "The Innocents" is based on a story by Henry James and the screenplay was co-adapted by Truman Capote, which increased my eagerness to see this movie and likely contributed to its well-balanced combination of old-timey hokeyness and enduring frightfulness.

"Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press" (2017)

Rating: 5 Scary Rating: !!!!!

This year's documentary entry!  While this is by no means a conventional horror story, in the current political era it is nevertheless deeply terrifying.  It tells the story of how radically conservative billionaires with a vendetta against the press can actively and devastatingly destroy the public's access to quality journalism and threaten democracy.

And with that, I hope you thoroughly enjoy this beautifully creepy holiday!  Happy Halloween!!

{Heart}

A September Micro-Post Medley

Hello friends,

I join you from the pseudo-fugue state of almost-but-not-quite-done packing in anticipation of moving to (New) Home on SUNDAY.

Now, after a week's break from old job and with just over a week to go before starting new job, I'm getting to feel some genuine, simple excitement.  We are doing this.  It is happening!

My hope is that, in the first week of October, I'll be able to prioritize making mental space for considering how to make a home that, as much as is possible, creates happiness and peacefulness.  I'm really looking forward to this task.

Before literally everything I own is packed away, I want to ensure I write a brief entry for this, the final month I live in City Where I Currently Live.

Commence: A Micro-Post Medley of the Movies I've Seen in September!

"The Wife" (2018)

Oh my goodness I did not care for this movie.  The performances felt strangled by a stagey, stilted, and unbelievable script.  It is an unfortunate irony that the movie suffers from what feels like an under-developed premise and set of characters, and it is about an acclaimed author who is winning the Nobel Prize for literature.  I appreciated the brief glimpses of Stockholm the film afforded, but otherwise "The Wife" unfortunately thoroughly skippable.

Score: 1

"A Simple Favor" (2018)

I delightfully misread the advertising for "A Simple Favor."  It looks like it should just be "Gone Girl" (2014) Redux, since the premise is so similar--a posh-looking and mysterious woman, played by Blake Lively, goes missing, kicking off a slew of gossip in her insular Connecticut town.  However, "A Simple Favor" is much more than a brooding study of dueling psychopaths.  It's a smart, twistedly funny study of dueling maybe psychopaths... who are also maybe friends?  I really enjoyed the film, especially because it is my sense that Lively and her co-star Anna Kendrick might have had a lot of fun making the movie.  Also the costume design is really fun to look at.

Score: 4

"Lizzie" (2018)

There's a lot to like about this re-thinking of the infamous Lizzie Borden axe murders, including the peek it provides into a tensely dysfunctional high-status Boston family as well as the strangely satisfying deeply American Northeastern architecture of the airless spaces in which their dysfunction grows.  Kristen Stewart's portrayal of Bridget, the Borden family's new Irish maid, and Chloë Sevigny's portrayal of the appropriately paranoid and claustrophobic titular character are highly absorbing.  Despite these promising elements, however, "Lizzie" ultimately disappoints as a horror movie or thriller.  Although the Borden murders happened at least a century after the events portrayed in 2015's "The Witch," the aspirations and aesthetics of both films felt similar enough that I felt a bit let down when "Lizzie" didn't deliver nearly as compellingly as its darker, more inventive, and more disturbing counterpart.

Score: 3

"Fahrenheit 11/9" (2018)

On a farewell tour of my favorite theater in City Where We Currently Live, Husband and I went to see Michael Moore's newest offering this week.  I can readily acknowledge that there are plenty of reasonable misgivings to be had about how Moore operates: his clear and deliberate attempts to cultivate and steer the emotions of his audience through cherry-picked facts and footage, his non-linear, unfocused, collage-style film-making whose thought process is at times difficult to follow, and his failure to ever explicitly state what exactly the movie's thesis is are three main complaints relevant to this and other movies he's made.  That being said, I appreciate that there is a lot of worthwhile information and perspective to be absorbed in this film, and I'm glad to have had the opportunity to reflect on what I've inferred to be "Fahrenheit 11/9"'s guiding principle: that America's democracy is very much in peril and has never fully attained its aspirations, and that the active and concerted engagement of the citizenry is urgently needed if we are ever to right the ship upon which we are sailing.

Score: 4.5

And with that: back to packing I go!

{Heart}