Basking in the "Moonlight"

Why hello!

I'm here to write a tiny little post about a movie I deeply loved.  I'm hoping it moves any of you who have not yet seen the thing will feel encouraged to see the thing.

Said post will be tiny because I want to genuinely push myself on the writing briefer posts front so posts happen (a lot) more often.

I present to you: "Moonlight" (2016).

I made a point to see "Moonlight" when I was in City Where I Used to Live a few months ago because I was really excited for the opportunity to see it before it opened in wide release.

Without caveat, it is one of the most beautiful, well-executed films I have ever seen.

Some bullet points:

• Excellent, sophisticated, subtle performances.  In particular, the main character is a relatively under-verbal person, yet communicates so much through facial expression, body language, and what is said and unsaid.

• Gorgeous imagery.  The film is filled with arresting imagery, bathed in gorgeous color and light, including the light giving the film its name. 

• A story centering Black and Brown lives.  It's gratifying for a film centered on a Black person's life to receive such attention and acclaim.  "Moonlight" tells the nuanced and complex story of a Black man's identity development.  It does so without getting bogged down in catering to white fragility and need for inclusion.  It confidently asserts that this story is precious and important to witness, regardless of the audience's ethnicity.

• The most moving, heartbreaking definition of a word ever.  No spoilers, but the scene to which I'm referring was stunningly affecting, filled with kindness and human decency.

• Emotional complexity.  "Moonlight" is a film that spans a considerable emotional range without feeling heavy-handed or predictable.  It takes us to places of pain and vulnerability and treats those places with reverence.

I cannot speak highly enough of this movie.  Obvi rating: 5.

Go see it!

Till next time--hopefully sooner rather than later!

{Heart}

Closing 2016: Resolutions Edition

Happy (almost) New Year, dear friends and family!

I hope you've enjoyed a happy and peaceful holiday season so far!

This year's silly images brought to you exclusively by
  Pusheen the Cat!

Let's dive right into our annual tradition of reviewing last year's resolutions before setting the resolutions for the coming year!

Last year's resolutions were:

1. Write more.

My goal here was largely to preserve my practice of maintaining this blog, and to do so by being a bit more flexible/less perfectionistic about what I write.  

While with this post I will have only managed to write the exact number of posts I did last year (which I would like to improve upon), I also made some albeit minor improvements in my willingness to write some posts I haven't labored over excessively.  I also wrote a post for every single month of the year for the first time since 2011, which means that I've at least maintained a consistent discipline of writing something monthly.

2. Learn Swedish.

I'm really disappointed to say that I have majorly slacked off on this one.  The main barrier has been my fear of possibly annoying Husband with the cute but frequent noises my sweet free language app makes.  I probably need to work on my willingness to risk that outcome, especially since he never complained about it when I was using the app more consistently.

3. Read stuff and learn things.

I feel like I've actually been pretty good about this!  I've swapped out some of my dumber and fluffier podcasts for more intellectually stimulating (and morbidly preoccupied) ones.  I also joined a book club since moving to New City and, for the first time ever, I've actually consistently finished reading the selected books.

I do have an ever-growing collection of articles open in the internet browser on my phone that I may never ever finish reading, but that's a step in the right direction, too.

4. Watch 60 movies.

This was yet another resolution aiming to enforce some better level of balance in my life, by ensuring a reasonable amount of time was dedicated to an interest I love.  While I didn't watch 60 movies this year, I did watch more than the minimum goal of 52.  Like my first 2015 resolution, I did manage to keep up a relatively consistent pace of movie-watching throughout the year, which I think also signals improvement on this front.

Hurray!  Not unambiguous failure on all fronts!

To be fair, I could also have included:

--Move to a New City: success!

--Start a New Job: success!

--Start meaningfully getting finances in order post-graduate training: mild yet measurable success!

--Go on at least one really cool international trip: enthusiastic success!

--Note that not literally only awful things happened this year: I'm ambivalent yet acutely aware of the preciousness of facts, so okay fine!

Now, let's proceed to my resolutions for 2017 and hope they don't all turn out like this!

1. Regularly smash the patriarchy.

The phrase "smash the patriarchy" has begun to roll off my tongue so regularly it runs the risk of becoming cliche, but seriously: in light of the outcome of the recent Presidential election, there is so much work to be done.  I want to be consistently, actively, and measurably engaged in advocating for vulnerable people and causes.  There are a couple of ways I'm planning to do that at this moment, but I don't mean for this to be carved in stone because I still have a lot of learning to do to develop a plan for best using my resources to maximize my impact:

--Participate in regular direct advocacy with my elected officials through a super easy-to-use daily texting service.  It's pretty great so far and seriously takes under 5 minutes!

--Set up recurring donations to advocacy organizations that will protect causes that are important to me, including civil rights and preservation of other democratic values like freedom of speech, assembly, and press.

--Ongoing self-education through self-directed reading and, ideally, participation in courses to learn about dismantling systemic discrimination.

--Advocacy, conversation, and education with colleagues to ensure they feel empowered to stand up for the vulnerable communities we serve as expert, ethical practitioners.

--Practicing my right to peacefully assemble and demonstrate.

--Regularly consume news media again.  Honestly, at this point, this is the hardest part of this resolution.  Despite the fact that I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to fulfill this resolution in the coming four years, I have also found it deeply triggering to listen to the news.  This is such an important practice for any engaged citizen, so I need to start trying to tolerate that again.

2. Learn all the stuff and things.

I want to continue to dedicate time to consuming literature and learning about the greater world, with the aim of supporting my first resolution and just because my brain is hungry.

I'm going to include in this resolution: Learn Swedish.  The sweet, cute, free app is adorable and enjoyable and therefore can easily take the place of some mindless silly game if I'm wanting to be entertained and learn without necessarily learning about sad or highly complex things.

3. Find ways to meaningfully and consistently set limits with work.

Seriously this struggle is killing me.  

I have made a list of things that I want to be happening regularly in my life outside of work.  I want regularly to talk to and see people I love.  I want time to cook meals and simply be home.  I want to do things in New City and travel.  I want to treat these things as equally mandatory as my work obligations.  

I'm doing this with the aim of forcing myself into a greater balance, by basically saying: If these things aren't happening, something is wrong and something at work must give.  Not having measurable life obligations means that work obligations threaten to devour every waking moment.  I just can't do this to myself anymore.

An additional adjustment I'm considering is trying to get to work early rather than staying late.  This would provide time to get extra stuff done that time simply isn't available for on many of my work days, but that time won't be open-ended.  The compromise, obviously, is I have to work through my non-morning-person status to actually get out the door early.

4. Write more.

I genuinely would like to write at least more than 13 posts in the coming year, and would like to continue to write at least one post per month.  With that aim, I'm going to keep trying to push myself to write briefer posts periodically and maybe cap myself at a maximum number of images for shorter posts so I don't fuss over them so much that this commitment is unsustainable.

I've also recently attempted to recommence my long-dormant practice of writing in a journal, and I think (unlike the abysmal and inadvertently self-invalidating attempt of 2013) this one might actually work for me.  I write one page a day with bullet points for the events of the day, following each with how I felt about them.  So, for example:

--Wrote a blog post. (Happy, accomplished.)

So far, it is the opposite of self-invalidation, and lets me take a balanced measure of each day.  I'm hoping I can stick with it, because so far I like doing it.

5. Watch at least 52 movies.

Of course, I aim to watch even more than that, but again: self-kindness.  Let's keep our expectations at least somewhat reasonable.

With that, I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve and that 2017 is much better than we are perhaps expecting.  Thank you, as always, for reading!

Happy New Year!!

{Heart}

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! 2016 Edition

Hi darlings,

I hope you had a wonderful food-based holiday with your loved ones and friends!

I am honestly pretty exhausted on this particular evening but am also stubbornly resolute in writing at least one post per month, as I am perilously close to actually writing at least one post per month this year.  So damn the tired torpedoes!

Reasons I am tired:

• Long workday.  Happily, "long" only in the literal sense and not in the emotional sense.
• Very recent return from an incredible overseas trip with husband.
• Ongoing emotional processing of a disastrous presidential election.

Last year, I commented with genuine gratitude that I was not experiencing the intense burn-out-y fatigue of years past.  I'm happy to say that the trend continues; although new job has been demanding in ways I could never have anticipated, I feel that I'm getting solid footing, enjoying the fruits of significant labor, and benefiting from truly special and wonderful colleagues.  I'm really glad to come out the other side of my admittedly arduous transition into my new role feeling proud, accomplished, and gratified.

So there is that.  That is of course significant.

I'm also humbled by my gratitude for the new life I have with Husband in our new city.  New City may lack much of what I miss in Old City, but for that trade, it has given us a beautiful, spacious, peaceful home in a neighborhood we cherish for its sweetness and quiet.  I feel held by my home and my new little community in a way I did not in Old City.  I'm so grateful that we can finally step into a phase in our lives in which our material needs are meetable.  Grad school aggressively robs you of that, and it is taxing on a level that is extremely difficult to tolerate.  Because of the amelioration of that burden, we are happier and better able to turn toward pursuits that bring us happiness, including the wonderful trip from which we just returned.

That has an immensity of value I cannot calculate.

Then, nearly half of my fellow citizens made the potentially literally catastrophic decision to elect our future president.

Maybe at some point, I will have the strength to write about this at greater length.  As a psychologist and a citizen, I am overwhelmed by the number of ways in which this outcome could be processed and understood.  I am still very much in the midst of my grief process, as are so many of the people I love.  There are times when my horror, despair, and devastation are so vast I lose my ability to articulate its textures and its objects.  I struggle to understand what may come to pass and how to confront it.

So lastly, I am deeply grateful for all of the people in this world who are mourning with me.  I eagerly await, over and over, being humbled by the formidability of their strength and courage as we face the next four years together.  I am grateful for the organizations comprised of brave, principled, decent human beings whose aim is to fight for precious and vulnerable people and causes.  I am grateful for the opportunity, however powerful its bitterness, to continue my education in how to be a better instrument of justice.

I'm looking forward to standing up with you.

{Heart}

A Halloween Sampler for All Souls: 2016 Edition!

Halloooooooooooooooooooo!

Happy Halloween!!

It's that spooktastic time of year when I offer a little overview of the creepy movies I've seen this year for anyone hoping to supplement their haunted holiday!

Consistent with Halloween Sampler protocol, movies will be rated with both my usual 1 - 5 rating scale and the scary/intense rating system of 1 - 5 exclamation points (e.g., ! = not at all scary, !!!!! = so scary!).

Chauvinists beware: by honest coincidence, all except one of this year's selections are influenced by my feminist rage.  Just fyi.

Commence!

"Amanda Knox" (2016)

Rating: 4   Scary Rating: !!!

This year's documentary entry!  In case you are sadly unaware, Netflix is kiiiind of kicking butt in the original content generation department.  Their documentary series and films are beautifully shot and intelligently assembled.  Between this film documenting the infamous case(s) trying Amanda Knox for the murder of her roommate while studying abroad in Italy and the widely heralded and discussed "Making a Murder" series, Netflix also appears admirably committed to exploring possible miscarriages of justice.

The film opens with the unsettlingly cold and vacant-seeming gaze of its titular figure, making the audience immediately ill at ease and seemingly confirming the ghoulish aura surrounding her.  The movie nevertheless then succeeds in weaving a thoughtful tapestry of narratives that coalesces into a pretty alarming picture of a series of dramatic (mis)trials by court and media.

Part of what earned the movie its scary rating is the lingering impression it created of the dangers of men in positions of power who fail to understand their own deeply internalized misogyny.  Definitely scary!

"Westworld" (1973)

Rating: 3   Scary Rating: !!

One of two throw-backy entries this year!

"Westworld" is fun in a goofy and campy way.  It's also fun in a clear-Crichton-precursor-to-"Jurassic Park"-just-minus-the-dinosaurs-and-plus-Yul-Brynner way.  It's got a decent amount of tension and anxiety to it, but it's by no means overwhelmingly terrifying.  I would recommend it as a fun exploit into 70s thrillers, but even more so as a primer for HBO's AMAZING new series of the same name, which the movie inspired.

GUYS SERIOUSLY WATCH "WESTWORLD" I CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

"Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem" (2014)

Rating: 4   Scary Rating: !!!!

This year's you-wouldn't-expect-this-movie-to-be-scary-and-yet-it-is-TERRIFYING entry!

"Gett" documents the years-long process an Israeli woman must go through to secure a religious divorce from her cruelly stubborn estranged husband.  The entire film unfolds without ever leaving the court in which Viviane, played with gorgeous subtlety punctuated by moments of gut-wrenching desperation by Ronit Elkabetz, doggedly pursues freedom from a suffocating marriage.  She endures legally mandated humiliation at the hands of male judges, relatives, and acquaintances alike who persistently undervalue her time, belittle her suffering, hold her up to intolerable scrutiny, and undermine her agency.  The terror this film instills is therefore 100% terror of the patriarchy.

"Blow Out" (1981)

Rating: 1   Scary Rating: !!!

Our second throw-backy entry this year!

Real talk: I found this movie to be pretty terrible.  It pretty blatantly exploits the Ted Kennedy Chappaquiddick incident, includes some perhaps predictably not-great John Travolta acting, and feels abrasively wanton in its victimization of its female lead, played by Nancy Allen.  That latter point is kind of the point of the film, I guess--it attempts to skewer our societal lust for female suffering-induced titilation.  This may just be a product of the movie's age, but it falls flat in this endeavor.  "Blow Out" nevertheless manages to sustain a persistently sense of dread and tension, so at least there's that.

"The Witch" (2015)

Rating: 5    Scary Rating: !!!!!

As a significant tonal shift from our last selection, I REALLY loved this movie.  It's beautifully shot, moodily atmospheric, wonderfully acted, and has an awesome sticks-with-you ending.  The film is skillfully carried by Anya Taylor-Joy in what is hopefully an early career-making role.

Delightfully, "The Witch" is seriously scary.  I am slightly embarrassed to admit that this is one of the rare movies I researched before seeing because I was worried it would be too intense.  Having an inside scoop definitely helped me feel ready for it, but didn't undermine how enjoyably frightening a film this is.  I highly recommend it!

And with that: I hope you have an excellent Halloween, dear readers!

{Heart}

Snap Judgment: Don't Even Think Twice About Seeing "Don't Think Twice"

Hey guys,

I've made the near-tragic decision to yet again wait until the end of a month to write a post.  Doing that on a Friday is particularly treacherous, as my brain is 87% fried.  I may actually finally break my years-long streak of imperfection in writing at least one post per month this year, though, so I will write a damn post if it kills me.  SUCH IS MY COMMITMENT.

But don't expect too much because my brain is feeling squishy.

So let's get down to it: I didn't really like "Don't Think Twice" (2016).

THAT'S RIGHT.

I SAID IT.

YOUR WACKY-YET-SOULFUL HIJINKS DON'T FOOL ME, MOVIE.

YOU'RE NOT THAT GREAT OKAY.

Allow me to explain, in our shortest-to-date Snap Judgment ever:

• Mike Birbiglia makes me gag a little bit but actually a lot.

This is both a shame and a surprise, because I used to like that guy.  He's had some great appearances on This American Life that I have genuinely enjoyed.

Unfortunately, his cinematic collaborations with TAL host Ira Glass have been disconcertingly underwhelming.  Contrary to its intention, I'm sure, "Sleepwalk With Me" (2012) is what soured me on Birbiglia.  I went into the movie completely ready to be Team Birbigs, and came out thinking he was kiiiiiiiiind of a cheating-minimalizing douchebag.

I then listened to a long-form interview with him on a podcast I enjoy as well as some of his standup and came somewhat unhappily to the realization that he's a bit of a sexist hack.  I now can't handle hearing his stupid voice without wanting to barf just a smidge.

His character definitely does not help things, as 1) his character is an embittered, petty never-has-been-y shlub who somewhat predatorially sleeps with younger women who are also his improv students and 2) I am convinced this is pure type-casting.

Gross.

• Cringe-y your dad had a horrible accident humor is NOT ACTUALLY FUNNY YOU GUYS ARE KIND OF TERRIBLE FRIENDS.

I really love Chris Gethard, especially in his role on one of the best comedy shows currently on television.  In "Don't Think Twice," (spoilers, but can you really spoil a movie you maybe shouldn't bother seeing?) Gethard's character's dad gets in a terrible motorcycle accident and suffers severe brain damage.  Everyone goes to visit his dad in the hospital, where he feebly and effortfully tells his son "Thank you," presumably for making the trek out to visit him.

...All of the other characters then proceed to mimic that "Thank you" on the painfully long car-ride back to New York City from Philadelphia.  And it's kind of the worst, because they're kind of the worst.

• Gillian Jacobs is all about throwing around Del Close quotes about the impermanence of improv yet is a stage 5 clinger to the past.

In many ways "Community's" Gillian Jacobs is the best part of the movie.  She has some moments of sparkling humor and is generally fun to watch.  

However, her character is a living contradiction in a difficult-to-tolerate way that sums up the ham-fisted tone of the movie.  She opens and closes the movie quoting Del Close, emphasizing the emphemerality of improvisational comedy, yet clings to her very evidently dying improv troupe to the extreme detriment of her career and personal life.  It doesn't feel believably human, it just feels annoying.

• That is quite the lazy ending.

It's pretty irritating to watch all of these building conflicts only to have filmmakers yadda yadda yadda their way to an abrupt "X months later..." ending.  It really irks me.

Also (again, spoilers I guess?) there's a break-up scene that is just... no.  That just would never happen.  Please don't strain my credulity so much.

AND THEY THROW BACK TO THAT AWFUL BRAIN-DAMAGED DAD SAYING "THANK YOU" JOKE.

• Mike Birbiglia x Lazy Ending = UGH.

Are we seriously supposed to believe that that guy magically reforms just because he finally bothers to experience interest in a same-aged lady?  And are we seriously supposed to believe that said lady would put up with his extraordinarily protracted adolescence nonsense?

UGH.

So I originally gave the movie a 3.  Now, a few weeks later and clearly swimming in end-of-week grouchies, I'm further downgrading it to a 2.

Happy weekend darlings!

{Heart}