Nothing accelerates the passage of time like graduate school. I hardly have any idea what happened to the past month.
Of course, once I make a concerted effort at reflection, explanations abound for why I've put off writing this post until basically the last possible moment. As I mentioned in April, my written comps were due on the 1st, and I presented them to a panel of faculty last Monday. (Sidenote: Who dawdles writing for her film blog and now has her Master's degree?? This Master's-haver!) Speaking of time going by quickly, somewhere between written and presented comps, Boyfriend and I went back to our alma mater to celebrate our 5th reunion. I then embarked on a paperwork extravaganza at externship, which included no fewer than TWO testing reports at considerably short notice (for civilians, two testing reports = a lot). Speaking of externship, I went in a couple of extra days to make up for having to take Monday off for said comps presentation as well as a blissful, much-needed extra-extended long weekend vacation for Memorial Day in New Hampshire and Boston.
Oh, and I saw these guys on Tuesday because I am immensely lucky and have some of the most determined, resourceful, and generous friends ever.
NBD.
JK, AVBD*.
...It's been a busy time. Unfortunately, the way things are looking, they're only going to get busier. To compensate for being an underpaid grad student, I'm picking up some extra testing cases that are ACTUALLY PAID, which is so amazing it's kind of offensive. I'm transitioning to my next externship at the end of June, but also likely staying on at my current placement one day a week to wrap up some therapy stuff. Oh, and I'm writing my dissertation proposal. And beginning data collection.
The scary part? That doesn't even get me into fourth year yet.
If you've read anything I've written here in the past nine months, I've basically made it impossible to miss the fact that this has been a very difficult year. To be wholly honest, it's probably been the hardest year of my life... which, now that I write that, kind of surprises me. That assertion might sound self-pitying, but I don't really mean it that way. I'm proud of getting through this period, because there were a few moments during which my confidence that I would was shaken. There have been many, many times when I've said to myself, out of frustration, desperation, and bone-crunching fatigue, "I just don't understand why this has to be so hard."
I still don't understand, but here I am--another year done. I'm more than halfway through this seemingly interminable program, one year closer to my degree and the career I've been working toward since I first seriously thought about what I wanted to do with my life.
So there, stupid nasty grueling year. You've passed over me, and only I remain. Yes, the next year will be hard, but the load I carry through it will be lighter because there are fewer burdens ahead of me than there are behind me. My thesis is done. My Master's is wholly mine. I'm down one externship with only one left to go. Fourth year will be difficult, but getting through this year has proven, yet again, that I can do difficult.
Really, why else would I want to be a therapist?
To abruptly switch gears: So I promised in my last post that I would write little synopses of the movies I watched during the "Dark Ages" of March and April. Let's get that party started:
Trollhunter (3)
When Boyfriend insisted on this movie, I was not happy. However, it's actually kind of adorable in a painfully, unabashedly campy way. Also, it's Norwegian, and I have the universe's biggest soft spot for my Scandinavian roots.
Exit Through the Gift Shop (??)
Maybe it's because I watched this movie in a couple of installments (never ideal), but I still just don't totally know what I think of this movie. I have a huge penchant for street art (Space Invader 4 life!) and Banksy's work is really fun, but I kept feeling like I was being had. Maybe I'm just still bitter from "I'm Still Here" (2010).
Kings of Pastry (3)
This documentary is a bit low-rent and weirdly-paced. That being said, there's a beautiful moment of living, breathing fraternité between French pastry chefs late in the film that still makes me well up. It's a short little movie, and it's worth watching if only for that moment.
Footnote (5)
I could not be more emphatic in my support of this film: this is the best movie I've seen this year. Elegant plot, sophisticated dialogue, excellent use of sound, beautifully, soberly shot yet instilled with dark humor and even whimsy, and best of all: the most convincing, compelling, intelligently-written characters I've seen in a long, long time. There's a debate scene that I'm still ecstatic over. Gah! It's so good!!
21 Jump Street (4)
Boyfriend thought he wanted to see "John Carter" (2012). After about 12 minutes, we decided that not even Bryan Cranston could save that shit, and we theater-hopped (Boyfriend's first time!) to this movie. Maybe it just looked good by comparison, but I found it genuinely funny. Not too much reliance on tired trope-y humor, a decent sense of self-deprecation, and some fun cameos.
Waiting for "Superman" (5)
Ohhh I cried and cried at the end of this movie. I'm sure it's been
said a million times, but this is a very important film to see. It
crams in a ton of information about a complex problem without overwhelming the audience, and has
the decency to give you tools to do something with your
empathy, indignation, urgency and outrage at the end. My one complaint
is that they didn't somehow incorporate this song.
Winter's Bone (3)
I expected to like this movie, as it was recommended to me by a very trusted source. I don't completely know why, but it just didn't do much for me. I like the film's vérité style, but I kept waiting for an emotional climax that didn't really materialize.Tah-dahhhhhh!! Donezo!
Okay kids. It's fajita night, so I'm going to go make guacamole.
<3
* AVBD = Actually very big deal.
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