A Christmas Sampler for Anyone Wishing to Extend the Holiday Season: Inaugural Version!

Happy Almost New Year, friends!

Last year I had the idea to write a medley of holiday movies in the model of my annual Halloween movies round-up.  I didn't get around to it, but I'm going to try to cram one in this year--admittedly somewhat late for the holidays themselves, but perfectly timed for anyone looking to drag out the season a few more days.  I'm not sure that I'll make this a routine, but I'm nevertheless excited to try it out.

To update the Halloween model, I will use both my typical 1 - 5 rating for overall quality and our brand new sparkling holiday cheer/feel-goodness rating, from 1 - 5 snowflakes, which can be interpreted as follows:

* = Minimal cheer / feel-goodness
*** = Medium cheer / feel-goodness,
akin to a well-seasoned cup of eggnog or nicely marshmallowed mug of hot coco
and a nicely cosy sweater/lap blanket combo
***** = Maximum cheer / feel-goodness,
equivalent to Santa actively depositing presents under your Christmas tree
as delicate snowflakes begin descending from the tender fluffy clouds above
and a choir of precious little children starts singing perfectly tuned carols outside
in the soft light of the candles they carry

So with that, let's dive in!

"Four Christmases" (2008)

Rating: 1   Holiday Cheer Rating: *

As Christmas movies go, this one felt a bit bleak: a self-congratulatingly anti-marriage-and-kids couple makes the rounds of their four families, as they are each the adult children of divorce.  Even if we look past the complete impossibility of fitting four family Christmas celebrations (including at least one church service + nativity performance) in four seemingly completely different locations in only one day to force this premise to work, this film is just too mean-spirited and the characters all not really fleshed out enough to worthy of pondering whether they're redeemable to be worth watching.  So if you're looking for general enjoyment, let alone holiday enjoyment, maybe skip this one.

"National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation" (1989)

Rating: 2   Holiday Cheer Rating: ***

A throw-backy option!  While this isn't exactly the best movie, I appreciated the "Home Alone" (1990)-light energy of the slapstick-y holiday silliness of this movie (with considerably less outright violence).  It kind of made me miss the solidly '80's / early '90's comedy movie aesthetic that required packing in as many silly sight gags and prop-based jokes as humanly possible, when so many of the more recent middling comedies can seem so comedically threadbare by comparison.  Even if "Christmas Vacation" isn't a laugh-out-loud extravaganza of hilarity, you can at least see that the filmmakers are trying to make it as funny as possible.

"A Bad Moms Christmas" (2017)

Rating: 1   Holiday Cheer Rating: **

This is unfortunately yet another Christmas movie I simply did not like, and not just because they cast Justin Hartley as a love interest and I'm solidly #TeamChrishell.  While this movie successfully musters some holiday vibes, the fact that the main distinguishing trait of the trio of core characters (played by Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, and Kathryn Hahn) is that they're wantonly obnoxious in public doesn't exactly make you care that their moms are titularly bad.  But the biggest nail in the coffin of this patently unpleasant movie is that it is one of countless holiday / family movies that actively coach its audience to favor family togetherness at all costs, even in the face of family member behavior that is unrepentantly emotionally abusive, insulting, and boundary-violating.  I was officially done with this film when its emotional turning point occurred not when each of the adult daughters attempted to set boundaries with their "bad moms," but when Mila Kunis was somehow transformed into the bad guy *for* setting that boundary.... on Christmas (cue manipulative lip quiver).  Yeah we officially have too many movies like this.

Alternatively, I would pay plenty of hard-earned money to watch movies about families who are just nice and respectful toward each other and then have wholesome holiday-based adventures together.  Filmmakers PLEASE take note!

"Single All the Way" (2021)

Rating: 4.5   Holiday Cheer Rating: *****

"Single All the Way" is by far the biggest winner of this medley.  It is genuinely sweet, charming, and entertaining, with successfully funny moments and a classic happy holiday movie arc infused with new energy by the will-they-won't-they gay couple at its center.  What makes this film really successful is what makes it the diametric opposite of "A Bad Moms Christmas": while the family has its cute, goofy moments (most clearly expressed through Jennifer Coolidge's Aunt Sandy and Kathy Najimy's overly-enthusiastic blind date arranging, PFLAG-y books about gay people reading mother to Michael Urie's Peter), they are all unconditionally and unabashedly gay-friendly and therefore supportive of Peter and his best friend and hopeful love interest Nick (played with gentle sweetness by Philemon Chambers).  There is not a drop of homophobic or racist squeamishness or tension in the movie, which arguably is exactly what we might want in a cosy, pleasant family-friendly holiday romantic comedy.  

It's clear how much I liked this movie, because as you'll see in our year-end wrap-up, I watched it both at the tail end of last holiday season last January and again this December.  It is truly a delight!

"A Hollywood Christmas" (2022)

Rating: 1   Holiday Cheer Rating: ***

If you're looking for a profoundly low-stakes holiday film with yet another classic romantic holiday movie arc and just enough self-awareness to make it mildly interesting, this is your movie!  Additional perks include Jessika Van's casting as the romantic lead and the ultimate redemption of all of the film's characters, even if they are at first positioned to be too villainous and/or vacuous for it.  It's not good, but it's fine, and it's definitely Christmas-y and there's something to be said for that.

With that, I hope you all enjoy some nice holiday movies and have a wonderful New Year!  Onward!

{Heart}