We spent this weekend out of town with family and friends. It was in many ways a really nice few days, spent with people I love in enjoyable conversation often punctuated with outbursts of laughter.
The occasion that drew us together was the memorial service for my grandfather, who died the week before my wedding. My grandfather was a hard-working man and a veteran, very skilled at fixing and building and crafting and always eager to tell a carefully selected roster of war stories so often repeated they were the oral history equivalent of a comfortable and worn pair of shoes. He also, as I mentioned when I spoke of him to our wedding guests, loved to make people smile.
The pastor leading his memorial drove this point home when he told a joke my grandfather had made him promise to tell on the occasion of his remembrance. After the service concluded, we went to restaurant where we had an admittedly pretty tame Irish wake for him, which he had often stated he wanted when he died. We aren't Irish, but he seemed to like the tradition for its rejection of sorrow in favor of a joyful celebration of life.
I found myself struck by how apparently heritable a predilection for humor can be. My family contains some of the funniest people I know. I studied humor in my dissertation for christsakes. As I've gradually re-started my clinical career after my post-internship hiatus, I've reconnected with laughter as a therapeutic tool for building relationships and showing my clients they are valued and enjoyed.
On that note, in spite of the purpose of this weekend, writing a TYSG installment seems out of place at the moment. I actually really like my new job and appear to have before me the opportunity to adjust to simply enjoying my work--something surprisingly difficult after several years of at best complicated professional experiences. But in honor of my grandfather, I wanted to extoll the virtues of laughter and humor, both as ways of marking happy moments but especially as a way to survive when things are hard.
I quoted Abraham Lincoln in my dissertation. He said, "I laugh because I must not cry." It's a beautiful statement, but I may like a quote chosen by our wedding photographer to accompany our wedding pictures even better:
“Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.”
~Seán O'Casey
When life feels untenable, humor lets us take a step away from our suffering and instead laugh in its face. It is a resounding refusal to be defeated in spite of life's occasional darkness. In times of sadness, it is therefore so important to have at our disposal things that make us laugh. So, I offer to you some of my favorite hilarious things:
As this show enters its tenth season, it has retained a shockingly high level of quality. I got about three episodes into the first season and realized a) I was a terrible person for laughing so hard at these terrible people and the terrible things they did, and b) this show is so goddamned good at making me laugh. I've been re-watching the early episodes as a way to pace myself before I blow through all the new episodes that just got posted on Netflix, and it's all glorious.
I hope the funny things brighten your day!
{Heart}
* = Adam Carolla has a history of expressing racism and sexism. I no longer support his work.
