I've made the near-tragic decision to yet again wait until the end of a month to write a post. Doing that on a Friday is particularly treacherous, as my brain is 87% fried. I may actually finally break my years-long streak of imperfection in writing at least one post per month this year, though, so I will write a damn post if it kills me. SUCH IS MY COMMITMENT.
But don't expect too much because my brain is feeling squishy.
So let's get down to it: I didn't really like "Don't Think Twice" (2016).
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SAID IT.
YOUR WACKY-YET-SOULFUL HIJINKS DON'T FOOL ME, MOVIE.
YOU'RE NOT THAT GREAT OKAY.
Allow me to explain, in our shortest-to-date Snap Judgment ever:
- Mike Birbiglia makes me gag a little bit but actually a lot.
This is both a shame and a surprise, because I used to like that guy. He's had some great appearances on This American Life that I have genuinely enjoyed.
Unfortunately, his cinematic collaborations with TAL host Ira Glass have been disconcertingly underwhelming. Contrary to its intention, I'm sure, "Sleepwalk With Me" (2012) is what soured me on Birbiglia. I went into the movie completely ready to be Team Birbigs, and came out thinking he was kiiiiiiiiind of a cheating-minimalizing douchebag.
I then listened to a long-form interview with him on a podcast I enjoy as well as some of his standup and came somewhat unhappily to the realization that he's a bit of a sexist hack. I now can't handle hearing his stupid voice without wanting to barf just a smidge.
His character definitely does not help things, as 1) his character is an embittered, petty never-has-been-y shlub who somewhat predatorially sleeps with younger women who are also his improv students and 2) I am convinced this is pure type-casting.
Gross.
- Cringe-y your dad had a horrible accident humor is NOT ACTUALLY FUNNY YOU GUYS ARE KIND OF TERRIBLE FRIENDS.
I really love Chris Gethard, especially in his role on one of the best comedy shows currently on television. In "Don't Think Twice," (spoilers, but can you really spoil a movie you maybe shouldn't bother seeing?) Gethard's character's dad gets in a terrible motorcycle accident and suffers severe brain damage. Everyone goes to visit his dad in the hospital, where he feebly and effortfully tells his son "Thank you," presumably for making the trek out to visit him.
...All of the other characters then proceed to mimic that "Thank you" on the painfully long car-ride back to New York City from Philadelphia. And it's kind of the worst, because they're kind of the worst.
- Gillian Jacobs is all about throwing around Del Close quotes about the impermanence of improv yet is a stage 5 clinger to the past.
In many ways "Community's" Gillian Jacobs is the best part of the movie. She has some moments of sparkling humor and is generally fun to watch.
However, her character is a living contradiction in a difficult-to-tolerate way that sums up the ham-fisted tone of the movie. She opens and closes the movie quoting Del Close, emphasizing the emphemerality of improvisational comedy, yet clings to her very evidently dying improv troupe to the extreme detriment of her career and personal life. It doesn't feel believably human, it just feels annoying.
- That is quite the lazy ending.
It's pretty irritating to watch all of these building conflicts only to have filmmakers yadda yadda yadda their way to an abrupt "X months later..." ending. It really irks me.
Also (again, spoilers I guess?) there's a break-up scene that is just... no. That just would never happen. Please don't strain my credulity so much.
AND THEY THROW BACK TO THAT AWFUL BRAIN-DAMAGED DAD SAYING "THANK YOU" JOKE.
- Mike Birbiglia x Lazy Ending = UGH.
Are we seriously supposed to believe that that guy magically reforms just because he finally bothers to experience interest in a same-aged lady? And are we seriously supposed to believe that said lady would put up with his extraordinarily protracted adolescence nonsense?
UGH.
So I originally gave the movie a 3. Now, a few weeks later and clearly swimming in end-of-week grouchies, I'm further downgrading it to a 2.
Happy weekend darlings!
{Heart}
