I can haz high five?

Or better yet....

Dissertation proposal redux is COMPLETE.

{Heart}

Reframes Are a Grad Student's Best Friend

Darlings,

As illustrated by my month-long hiatus from post-writing, my life has been (and continues to be) a bit over-booked this summer.

Here are the things I've been doing that have kept me from writing about movies:

--Working at new externship three days a week.
--You know how I said I'd be at old externship one day a week for the foreseeable future?  Hilarious.  I've been going in two full days a week.  And in spite of concerted and sustained effort, I'm still not done.
--Seeing clients at school.  Yes, that means I'm currently working at three sites!!  (ALL unpaid, but who's keeping track of such piddling details as that?!)
--Going on some delightful little trips with classmates, family, and Boyfriend.

Things I have not been doing enough (in addition to writing about movies):

--Sleeping.
--Writing my dissertation proposal.

The immense mountain of clinical work, while awesome from an applying-to-internship-very-soon perspective, has contributed to the jell-o-ification of my brain in the evening and weekend hours.  This is not conducive to writing intelligently about statistical analyses.  And since I have been nowhere near coherent enough to work on my dissertation during the last few weeks, I have definitely not been intelligible enough to write things for fun.  Plus, I had Olympics to watch.

Priorities.

I have, however, been just conscious enough to snag some dissertationy humor for your enjoyment:

Hee!

Seriously though, although one of my classmates has looked at me like an alien for saying the following, at least at present I assert the following: I'm really looking forward to September, because I think things will feel easier then.  In spite of anticipating this profound depletion of energy almost an entire year in advance, I still find it kind of astonishing how exhausted I've been this summer.  Grad school really has a knack for one-upping itself in the fatigue game.  Even though I'll be preparing to defend my dissertation proposal and begin the terrifying odyssey of applying to internship next month, the prospect of only working at two sites sounds like pure, deliciously achievable bliss right now.

Famous last words, I'm sure.

The truly annoying thing about all this is that I was totally ahead of the dissertation game a few weeks ago.  I was working on my proposal in earnest every weekend like a badass grad student machine for a good stretch, until I hit a serious wall around the time of my last post.  To be fair, part of the issue has been that I've had previous commitments for three of the last four weekends (aka the aforementioned little trips), but I definitely could have achieved more/something if I had been more mentally capable.  The spirit was willing (and by "willing" I mean "instilled with the fear of God," and by "fear of God" I mean "fear of defending my proposal at the last minute, which I really really really don't want to do"), but the mind was utter, undirectable, incapable-of-sustaining-attention mush.

The stance I ultimately adopted was that I've been taking an intentional break from working on my dissertation for a few weeks to recharge my brain batteries in anticipation of renewing my efforts when I am again fully equipped to do so--not that I was delaying writing because I simply couldn't muster the cerebral fortitude.  In psychology language, this is called a reframe.

Reframe (noun): repackaging an anxiety-inducing phenomenon over which you have no control such that you convince yourself that you actually totally meant for things to turn out the way they have.  See also:

Reframe: Example 1

Reframe: Example 2

Calvin and Hobbes 4 life.

Luckily, I think I actually really am still on track to defend before the eleventh hour, which facilitates my not-yet-panicking.  Also good: I'm thinking I've now "taken time off" (note: not "had time taken off by forces beyond my control" Reframe: Example 3) enough that I might actually be in a position to really get shit done this weekend.  I have also reserved Monday as a back-up day during which I will not be going to old externship in case I just can't hack it on Saturday and Sunday.

...It has not escaped my notice at this juncture that I still haven't written a word about the movies I've watched this summer.  However, to channel the deeply behaviorist spirit of my new externship, I think I'll treat writing the next grand revue post as a reward for a serious dissertation  writing effort this weekend.  So if I post within the week, you'll know that my brain is (at least partly) back.

God willing.

Blogger suddenly doesn't let me do hearts anymore, so: {Heart}