Always Watching "Bridesmaids", Never Finishing My Thesis Proposal

Bon après-midi!

I'm thinking I'll write a slightly briefer post today, since I really really should like... do (real) work.

So last night I saw "Bridesmaids" (2011) with a good lady friend.  We rolled in post-ribs and ice cream and were ready for a good time, and the movie definitely delivered.  The theater was almost full with an incredibly responsive audience, which definitely enhanced the experience.  As such, I gave the movie a 4.

Jezebel, which is quickly becoming my go-to source for movies I won't hate, has been all over "Bridesmaids".  Given that it was written by two women and is cast primarily with women, the site has been eagerly tracking its box office progress with an awareness that the odds are stacked against a comedy driven by non-dudes.  (Well, mostly--we of course likely have Judd Apatow to thank for the ick-factor humor that occasionally rears its head.) 

Awesomely, the movie is OWNING in ticket sales, probably because it's legitimately funny in a broadly accessible way, and yet it's getting at a niche of milestones-of-life stories that hasn't really been effectively exploited for movie purposes.  There are plenty of comedies about courting, getting married, being a groomsman, having babies, etc., but being a bridesmaid has not (as far as I'm aware) been previously made into a terribly effective funny movie.  AND, especially at a time during which my peers are increasingly getting married or threatening to get married, this movie (with its comedic anxiety about handling the responsibility of a friend's wedding like an adult without thoroughly blowing it) seems weirdly personally timely.  So all in all, well done, ladies!

Especially after an endless slew of bromance comedies, it's also really awesome to have a comedy that focuses on friendships between women.  In that spirit, much of the tension in the film stems from conflict between Annie (Kristen Wiig) and her childhood best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph), the bride-to-be.  Lillian initially (yikes) selects Annie to be her maid of honor, but when Annie basically implodes under the pressure of competition with Lillian's NEW best friend, fellow bridesmaid Helen (Rose Byrne), the friendship crumbles with it.  This is a comedy, so they obviously reconcile, but...

Yeah so basically 75% of this movie was like having a knife in my heart that occasionally got abruptly twisted, sometimes clockwise, sometimes counterclockwise, always painfully.  I would assume that most women who see "Bridesmaids" can identify with the horrible anxiety of being replaced in your best friend's affections by some fucking interloper.  In spite of the irrationality of that fear, it's still hard to sit with it for two hours.

Annie and Lillian are such good friends!!  They love each other, relish a lifetime of knowing each other, and are silly co-conspirators together.  Early in the movie, the two attempt to "steal" an outdoor fitness class by following the workout routine from behind a tree, and when they're discovered, they escape and tuck into a yummy breakfast together.  Not only does this stoke my bitter jealousy for people who live in the same city as their best friends, but it paints a nice little picture of friends who have happily, comfortably made room for each other in their lives through years and years of friendship.

And then she.  Ruins.  EVERYTHING.

Of course, because this is a lovely and well-crafted movie in many respects, the writers made a place for sympathy even for Helen's character eventually.  But before that, they do a great job of making you loathe her, knowing that they're only uncovering your lurking absurd insecurity.

Not to spoil absolutely everything about this movie, which is DEFINITELY worth seeing in (crowded, if possible) theaters for the group-enjoyment effect, but: as I said, the friends eventually reconcile (duh, comedy) and everything resolves nicely.  As the movie draws to its close, Annie and Lillian serenade each other with their song, and I have to admit I welled up... and spent the rest of the night with a certain Aerosmith song in my head.

Oh man friends are a beautiful thing.  It's great when a movie can make you laugh your ass off and simultaneously remember something so important.

'Til next time.

<333

For When You Need a Little Humility, There's Grad School; For Everything Else, There's "Hanna"

Salut!

So.... I'm kind of in love.

Boyfriend and I saw "Hanna" (2011) last weekend, and um... holy shit I fucking loved that movie.

Just to get the painfully obvious out of the way, I gave it a 5.  Obvi.

On to the fun stuff!

I basically knew from the outset I was going to love this movie.  A good friend who knows my taste saw it and compelled me to see it; Jezebel mentioned it as evidence that there are, in fact, female action heroes who are actually three-dimensional; and come on, that trailer is so bad-ass it's practically eating itself.

In any event: I was not disappointed.  "Hanna" is visually stunning and exhilarating on a level I haven't been privy to in a while... Maybe since seeing "Kick-Ass" (2010), which showcased its own super-awesome girl hero Hit Girl (and one of the very few performances by Nicolas Cage I actually enjoyed).

There's a special kind of thrill I get from movies about women heroes (not superheros, mind you, but the at-least-somewhat-plausible heroes).  Traditionally feminine characters overflowing with gentleness and motherliness get really boring after a while, and I like it when films turn that archetype on its head.  I like it when the roles a woman can inhabit are expanded so radically.  I like to be reminded that almost as formidable as the power to create is the power to destroy, and women can embody those two conflicting powers just as much as men.

I don't know how universal this feeling is, but for me, there's just no denying it: there's something undeniably, viscerally, heart-pumpingly gratifying in the embodiment of the destructive side of femininity portrayed in characters like Hanna.

I'll admit it--there is a (pretty considerable) part of me that wants to be Hanna.  Definitely not because I think it would be fun to kill people (promise).  What I like is that she's so empowered, disciplined, and formidable, all in a package that would not normally belie those traits.  It is both those traits and the fact that they are unexpected that I find immensely appealing.  The shock of seeing such an innocent, placid face spattered with blood is something the average male action hero just can't achieve.

See?

Beyond my affiliative love for the character bearing the film's name, I loved "Hanna" because it provides a fabulous movie-going experience.  It's shot beautifully.  When one of the opening shots of breaking-up ice in frigid water reminded me of one of my favorite artists, I knew I was in for a visual treat.  Paired with the Chemical Brothers' sexy, adrenaline-pumping soundtrack, the film is definitely must-see-in-theaters.

And Jezebel was spot on with their assessment of the level of nuance in Hanna's character.  While she's supposedly bred to have her sense of pity muted, she nevertheless is capable of enough empathy to pursue and defend a friendship with another girl (resulting in a lovely discussion of friendship which provides a welcome emotional counterpoint to the violence that dominates the film).  While she was designed to be an ideal soldier, she is not so perfect in her skills of deadly force that she never makes a mistake.  In other words, there are real stakes in this movie.  Delightfully, Hanna is nevertheless not so imperfect or emotional that she comes across as at all frail.  She is ruthless when necessary, extremely resourceful, and uncompromising in her mission--yet she is not bleached of the emotion that makes her human.  In this way, she retains depth in her manifestation of what it means to be powerfully feminine.

But so seriously... I have to wonder.  What is it about Hanna that I find so appealing?  Why would it be (SO FUCKING) awesome to be her?

Part of it is definitely the surprise factor.  In spite of a growing contingent of kick-ass action heroines, it is still surprising to see a so-physically-powerful woman.  Brute physical prowess is still very much the domain of men, and there's a delicious novelty to watching a woman give men a run for their taken-for-granted money.  There's an upending of expectations inherent in woman action heroes that just isn't there with their male counterparts, and that table-turning is so much fun to watch.

But I don't think it's really that simple.  The post-film discussion I described in my last post was one of innumerable reminders that the world is still in many ways a hostile place for women.  The harrowing assault endured by Lara Logan--who is in so many ways an incredibly powerful woman--is yet another reminder.  There are infinite others, personal and global, that come to mind.  The sad fact of the matter is that there are a lot of people (or maybe not a lot, but certainly more than enough) who are all too eager to remind women of the fact that their relative smallness or physical weakness can be readily exploited--a fact which women must (at times willfully) forget in order to go about their daily lives without being paralyzed by fear.

This is likely partly my recent sexual disorders lecture talking.  Almost all diagnosable-and-illegal disorders in that chapter of the DSM are found in men who perpetrate crimes against women (e.g., frotteurism, exhibitionism, voyeurism, etc.).  While not everyone who qualifies for those diagnoses wants to victimize (as in harm) women, they often nevertheless succeed.  The sad thing is, it's pretty amazing how easily one sick asshole can make a woman forget all the brilliant, kind, safe men there are in the world, and make her feel hopelessly helpless.  Temporarily, at least.

I can haz ur awesome?

But knowing all this is part of what makes "Hanna"--both the film and the character--so compelling.  There's something really seductive about being the kind of total-badass lady-hero who could maybe make a few all-too-real monsters think twice about reminding women of their vulnerability.

... And now that we're on the subject, maybe in some (infinitesimal) way, being a therapist is (an only slightly?) more adaptive way of channeling this fantasy.  Most of my professional life (if I have my way) will involve empowering the disempowered--helping clients conquer trauma, fear, low self-esteem, anxiety, what have you. 

So... instead of ninja-chopping assholes in dark alleys, I'll teach my clients to psychologically ninja-chop the assholes in their lives with COPING SKILLS.  And like... EMOTION IDENTIFICATION.

... Progressive Muscle Relaxation now sounds way more sinister than it really is.

In any event: therapy-as-adaptive-channeling-of-fantasy aside, movies like "Hanna" make me super pumped that my gym offers boxing classes.  I'm very seriously considering taking a couple.  You know, just in case I happen upon an asshole in a dark alley.  Might as well be prepared.

Although there's always PMR as a back-up strategy.

<3

"How to Marry a Millionaire" When You Decide You Don't Want to Write a Thesis Anymore But Would Still Prefer to Eat

Oh hi!

Holy shit it's May.

I open with this because seriously, what happened to April?  It's like the month didn't even exist.  Sometimes, especially sometimes like these, I remember how long a minute felt when I was little (really really long), and then I think about how fast time seems to go by now (really really fast), and it makes me realize how people lose whole years (and maybe decades? yikes) as they age just because for some reason the more time you spend on the planet, the more quickly-passing it feels.  Apparently.

In some ways this is really awesome.  It is particularly awesome when I hate school.  When I hate school, I think to myself, "But look!  So much of it's already over, and it doesn't even feel like that took so long!  So maybe the rest will feel like that."  And then I feel better. 

The problem is, as weeks and months (and semesters) fly by, they don't always take my work with them.  A (lazy, magical thinking) part of me thinks that all I have to do is endure grad school and I'll pop out the other end after 5 years and just be handed my degree.  Kind of like going to the dentist, but with a PhD instead of a filling.

It does not work like that.  Why not: 1) thesis, and 2) dissertation.  If I don't finish those, I don't get my degree.  (I just corrected that from "If you don't finish those, you don't get your degree," because I realized that even as I was exposing this magical thinking part of myself, I noticed that I was still distancing myself from my anxiety-inducing research obligations.  I am not talking about *someone else's* thesis and dissertation.  I'm talking about MINE.  The ones I HAVE TO DO.)

(The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.  In parenthetical asides.)

I digress.

Really what I'm saying is that it's kind of intense that my second year is essentially over (minus a final tomorrow that I'm (apparently) not studying for and a project due Monday (don't even bother wondering if that's written)).  That happened fast.  And yet my research projects still loom.

I suppose I should be reasonably happy with myself on this front.  I have a complete data set, a completed first draft of my proposal, and some pretty clear ideas of how I'm going to interpret my data.  It's not like I'm behind.  I just don't want to do it.  I don't.  And I have to.... like really a lot.  I just need to get over myself.

ANYWAY.  It's possible that April went by really quickly because I watched SO MANY MOVIES and I'm really excited about it.

I watched:
13. Awful Normal (3)
14. The Witches of Gambaga (5)
15. The Deliverance of Comfort (5), Taharuki (Suspense) (4), and Phyllis (3)
16. The Machinist (3.5)
17. The Other Guys (2)
18. Chop Shop (3)
19. How to Marry a Millionaire (5)

Wooooooooooo!

Note: I lumped the three films in #15 together because they're short films, and last year I watched a series of shorts and counted them as separate films, which made me feel guilty.  So now I'm correcting for that. 

Anyway.  When I saw the films listed in #14 and #15, all the filmmakers behind the films were present at the screening and answered questions afterward.  They were brilliant and wonderful and I enjoyed (almost) every second of it, but the best second(s) came as a pleasant surprise.

<333333333

I've been to a couple of film screenings at which someone heavily involved with the film at hand is present (not to mention some "talk-backs" at plays, which often also include the cast of the production in addition to the director and/or playwright), and one thing always holds true: There is always at least one asshole in the audience who asks a stupid/painfully pseudo-intellectual question, often at great length.  Sometimes, when you're really unlucky, there are many many of these people.  But there's *always* at least one.

There was definitely one at this screening, and he was particularly long-winded.  So long-winded, in fact, that the moderator attempted to cut him off multiple times (and failed!), and the audience became audibly uncomfortable as his monologue unfolded interminably (lots of nervous giggling and shifting in seats to stare).  I don't even remember what he was asking, really, because I was too busy feeling embarrassed for everyone, but I think it somehow originated from the fact that all of the filmmakers were African women, and weren't they inflamed about the state of women's rights internationally, and what can be done about it???  Which is a perfectly interesting question, I suppose, but also so absurdly broad in scope that it came off as more than a little silly... How can four directors be expected to solve the problems, centuries and centuries in the making, of the world's billions of women??

A woman in a "witches' village" in Ghana, portrayed in "The Witches of Gambaga".

The questioner finally ran out of unused words, and a profound and awkward silence fell over the theater.  The moderator sheepishly prompted the filmmakers for a response, and at least one of them was so (understandably) exasperated that she rolled her eyes and made a face.  It seemed an unsalvageably uncomfortable situation.  There seemed simply no way to respond in a way to neutralize the awkward without making someone feel like an idiot.

AND THEN.  One of the women (the one on the far right in the first picture, whose name I desperately wish I had caught) took the microphone, and with the beautiful zen calm and magnanimity of a thousand humans, said, "Thank you for your outrage."

...I can't imagine this comes across here like it did in that theater, but she knocked my fucking socks off with her graciousness.  In one fell swoop she validated the (insanely verbose) questioner's worry for the women of the world AND reclaimed the conversation so that normal humans could again understand it.  She talked about how not only bearing witness to the women in the films we had just watched but also supporting women in positions of power in the arts (as directors and producers) are a means through which women can attain greater empowerment.  And she's right, of course.  But WOW did she make fabulous and intelligent lemonade out of those cray-cray lemons.  It made me feel smarter just sitting in the room with her.

Other women in "The Witches of Gamabaga".

The shorts might be harder to find (but are absolutely worth seeing if possible!), but hopefully some of you might be able to track down "The Witches of Gambaga" (2010).  It's brilliant, fascinating, surprising, and very much worth watching.

SPEAKING of women in film.  For an abrupt transition: Marilyn Monroe.

She's pretty awesome too.

Boyfriend and I watched "How to Marry a Millionaire" (1953) a few nights ago largely on a whim, and it was a potent reminder of a hard truth of film: you can't fuck with good writing.  It may be incredibly backwards in its gender stereotyping, but in spite of that, the movie is simply hysterical.  We were both surprised at how entertaining it is, in spite of being almost 60 years old.

Lauren Bacall is delicious, but Marilyn.  I'm sorry.  She just steals the freaking show.  She is utterly luminous. 

It seems strange that she's retained such power, as celebrities go, in spite of only appearing in a handful of movies.  But once you see her in anything, it's not hard to understand why: she's completely riveting.  She's beautiful (duh), but also so delightfully funny.  She cultivated the silly-girl persona so expertly and endearingly that you can't help but adore her.

I mean come on.  She's too precious for words in those rhinestone cat eye glasses.

The movie is so much fun.  You should see this one, too.

And with that... I really, really should probably study for this final.

Bonne soirée!

<3